If He Only Knew

If he only knew,

That the previous night I had a huge fight with my mom,

Then he would know that I wasn’t trying to hurt that girl’s feelings when I made that rude remark to her in the hallway.

If he only knew,

That his class was my favorite,

Then he might not criticize me for looking a little pessimistic once in a while.

If he only knew,

That I felt crushing anxiety surrounded by all these kids that treat me like garbage,

Then he might not constantly call on me and draw unnecessary attention towards me.

If he only knew,

That a smile does not always equal happiness,

Then he might understand why sometimes my facial expressions and actions don’t always seem to match up.

If he only knew,

That my after school life consisted of therapy sessions instead of sports practices,

Then he would know that I am working through my own personal problems,

And he might be able to see the real me,

And not just the me that walks into his classroom everyday.