observation and pursuit
There is only one kind of shock worse than the totally unexpected:
the expected for which one has refused to prepare.
- Mary Renault, The Charioteer
A few days forward. Late afternoon.
Her house is somehow more pleasing to the eye than I assumed. Then again, I was not aware of what to expect from the lovely, strong-minded, and efficient cafe owner. My eyes wander to a not too big but nice looking, bright house with its sandy color walls. Sunshine and rich green leaves, reflecting in the tall, rectangular windows. Two beautiful cherry trees occupying the space in front of the building, standing proudly on a well-kept lawn. It was rather obvious to see that the woman that lived there was close to nature and knew her way around plants. Her sense of style presenting both a practical and delicate side, softness gliding out of almost every little detail.
I take another quick look at the surroundings and slowly back away, sensing that no one is actually in the house but feeling them close. Moving around the property, I head to the south side of it, using the forest wall to disguise my presence. It takes me a moment to find the right spot to observe them, near enough to watch and hear, but far enough not to be spotted or felt. My ever-growing energy a possible give away to certain people. Besides, I no longer trusted my powers to stay tamed around the girl as we now shared some kind of connection, a strange curiosity that I still had not put into any satisfying or at least logical design.
My body stands still as I watch and observe, all of my nerves and senses, concentrating on the view before me. I am fully aware of the sun’s rays filtering through the trees and heating my cells, the gentle wind lightly caressing my skin. I feel how it touches the dark linen t-shirt and how it glides over a pair of tight black leggings that cover my legs, suede grey boots with thick heels, firmly based on the hard ground. The faint sounds of the forest floor crunching, thin twigs breaking as small animals and insects busy themselves around, filling my ears. I hear and feel all of those things that seem to tickle my senses pleasantly, yet my mind is set only on the task at hand, eyes scanning every trivial detail or change of scenery.
After a longer while, a sudden noise breaks the stillness as my head shifts slightly to the side, eyes growing wider when a petite figure grows into focus. My gaze lifts above her head to watch a ceramic pot sway in the air, swing there for a moment, wobbling, and then falling against the pavement near the house with a loud crash. Shells and dirt everywhere, the plant itself happily laying there in the center of it all as if this wasn’t the first time this has happened; a mess of similar pieces spread out near, suggesting the cause of the original noise that caught her attention.
The girl’s arms are crossed over her head and face in a measly attempt of blocking any possible damage coming her way. Slowly, she puts them down like a scared child, staring with almost comical horror at the sad remainings of the plant.
Shit, shit, shit. I’m sorry, Mel. I will pay you back, I promise. I really didn’t mean to...
Quiet, Ray. Everything is alright, it’s just a damn cactus, I have more where that came from.
Mel.
No, hush, and start all over again.
But I already damaged your chairs, put a dent into your car and...
Raven Katelynn Avis. Listen to me, and listen to me good. We are going to do this and pull through, no matter how much you damage my garden as long as you will be safe. Now, do you want to have some control over what is going on with you or not?
I watch her exhale slowly, trying to regain some calm, while the girl’s expression remains pained and guilty. Judging from the surroundings, she had a right to look like that. She gently nods in response and then looks down at the ground, obviously fearing to face her actions. My fingers slowly roll into tight fists, jaw clenching, muscles jumping under the skin, wanting to make a move, to pounce and destroy. But that was only a part of my duality. The observer and strategist stood still as the rage bubbled just barely under the surface. There, there, loud soul. Just because she was able to lift a few objects in the air didn’t necessarily make her a demolisher of the worlds. No, that was her job. She smiles slowly and stretches the sides of the neck, making loud popping noises, tuning in back to the conversations just in time to hear the other woman speak again.
...and starting tomorrow, we are doing this in the woods, as it should have been planned from the beginning, clearly.
I promise that I will repay you for all the damages, though I can never repay you for what you’re doing for me. I could never do this on my own.
My stare follows the cafe owner as her body relaxes a bit, her gaze turning softer. I slowly tilt my head to the side, mood unamused by the little exchange. Humans, such strange creatures, so weak.
No need for this, it’s alright. Now, go take a shower while I clean this up a bit and start making dinner.
She looks around, probably lost in her mind, trying to figure out what to start with first.
Nope, I will make dinner and help you out with the mess I made. Besides, you know I’m a good cook, let me do this for you.
Yes, let’s do that. It’s only fair, you wretched creature.
Her tone is warm when she speaks the words, the girl reacting with a wide smile that makes her face beam like a flashlight, even though her body speaks of exhaustion and a
damaged state.
Thank you, Mel. You’re the greatest, I mean it.
I watch as she gets into the house, while the woman starts to pick the remains of the ceramic clutter and mess. My fingers begin to move, energy bouncing, the need for Wren’s remedy growing, flickers of blue light tickling my fingertips. And that’s the exact moment when she looks up and gazes around as if someone had just called her name or poked her back lightly. As strange as it may be, I am more than certain that what grabbed her attention was me. Somehow, I’m not even surprised as I feel air expanding in my lungs, knowing my energy had just touched hers. I examine her for a moment more as her eyebrows crunch together in concentration, and then her head shakes, letting the feeling go. My stare narrows slightly as the head shifts to the side again, shoulders straining, mind trying to calculate a complicated equation, imaginary numbers moving around before my eyes. Yet without all of the needed components and too many unknowns, I was unable to find the right solution. Yet. Mmm, all in due time.
Quietly, I take a few steps back, deeper into the forest, and cross my arms, lost in thought. The woman knew about the girl’s abilities or at least sensed something. And even if she lacked that knowledge and was just a witness to an accidental show caused by the little blackbird... she didn’t appear to be shocked by the situation. Seeming to be more or less aware of how to practice those kinds of powers, so over time, they could be controlled and not cause harm to the girl or her precious surrounding.
Mmm, It was visible to anyone that the woman was frustrated at the Raven’s weak attempts at her new exercising regime, yet not frightened by the abnormal circumstances. There had to be a reason for that. Yes, the cafe owner was calm and collected, which was something that could not be said about the girl.
If she could take a bet on it, the little one seemed on the verge of a breakdown or demolishing the house, whichever came first - a lazy smile stretches the corners of her lips despite the incident that just occurred. That would be amusing to see. Who knows, maybe soon she could enjoy that kind of show in person. Though a small pity there as the woman really did inhabit a nice place for a mundaner, so welcoming and inviting to stay. It would be a shame to leave it in pieces and grind it into dirt and ash, that we were all made off in the end. Mmm, how symbolic, one could say.
The smile fades gradually from her lips as she ponders about what she just witnessed. More questions were brought to her unwilling hands, and as soon as one issue was taken care of, new ones would present themselves immediately. And she was growing sick and tired of those, constantly anticipating fresh bad news. Maybe she was fooling herself, taking these cautious steps. What if she just let go? And let her rage destroy, as was written in her blood all those centuries ago? What was the harm in that, really? Wasn’t this the way it was always meant to be?
She takes a step forward, then another, twigs crunching under the thick heels, wind picking up and swaying against the bare arms, breathing with her energy as she slowly moves her palms up. Small particles of blue light escaping eager fingertips, passion from her veins craving to taste the world, to demolish and consume. Hands twitch, calling her to use the things resting inside of the universe nestled in this body, in this soul. Her lungs, catching more air, chest lifting and sinking with growing force. Just once, and it will all be over, one good hit and done. Who cares about the consequences.
This was meant to happen.
Sapphire light fills her veins and changes her blood into the expanding matter of the heated sun. Into life itself. She slowly becomes free, unchained by anything, even by her lost breaths as she seems to disappear and fade away, her powers taking over with force. She never really mattered, only her destination meant for annihilation so she could save her kin, a sacrifice she was willing to take, embracing everything that came with it.
Take care of the problem, Lilly.
You know it’s the only way.
She outstretches her arms and lifts the palms of her hands higher, dipping fingertips into the matter and whispering long-forgotten words to the wind. Inhaling Apollo’s warmth into her cells, and feeling the gravity of the moon even in the light of day. She feels all and is ready to kill, to harvest, and claim her little prize. Goodbye, my sweet Raven. Please, don’t hold it against me. It won’t even hurt much. And in a way, my little bird, I’ll be gentle with you. Just a blink and it’s all done.
Lost, forgotten, bringing peace.
Letting the dust settle.
More energy threatens to escape her, body lifting slightly in the air, her head moving to the sides, feeling a melody in her veins that only she could hear. It was beautiful as it was destructive, a wonderful conundrum, spreading in her heart and calling her home. She was a true starseed brought to life by the unknown, by the universe, by unconditional love in the purest form... Unexpectedly, a few tears fall down her heated skin, but she does nothing to wipe them away. Sadness that came from destruction taking over her for just a moment. A love like that wasn’t meant to kill, but she had her mission. There was no choice left.
Blinding blue light explodes from her, escaping her eyes, the skin, her heart, and shaking lungs. It takes over, and she is no more, just the light and nothing else. Energy flows through her hands but then stops and doesn’t move forward. It embraces her.
It attacks her.
Without warning, currents of electricity bend, twist, and ravage her body mercilessly. Her head flipping backward, hands flying in the air, every part of her body strained like a blazing iron cord.
Burn in fires for you are nothing more than ash.
The words swim in her veins as she screams out an ear-piercing howl, a roar of live burned flesh, muscles shrinking, and almost sizzling like meat on a hot metal stove, the nauseating smell filling her nostrils, her stomach tightening and turning as she starts to shake. Too much. Too much. Too much. Every spark in her neuro system flashing bright as she tries to scratch out oxygen from the air, feeling as if her body might just combust from the inside if she inhaled too deeply. Not possible, wake up! Please wake up. NOW. Another shock of electricity attacks fiercely, and she falls to the ground, exhausted. Time feeling as if locked into eternity, yet the nightmare couldn’t last more than barely a few seconds.
A wounded growl escapes her throat as she pants heavily, gasping for air, lungs moving with both exhaustion and rage. Her hands hit the ground as she lets out another moan, tiny rocks digging into her skin. Nothing was working lately. NOTHING. As if... she flinches from the unbelievable thought. As if she was broken, damaged. Incomplete. How could this happen when the universe spoke through her veins? When every part of her soul and life energy was a perfectly calculated description of harmony made from creation?
No.
No.
No.
The word echoes in her head as she forces herself to get up from the ground, swaying a bit and dusting off the dirt and sharp pieces of rocks from her clothes and burned hands, wincing in the process. Nothing would ever stop her, this was just a minor complication. She straightens her back as much as possible and starts walking to the side road limping, and still finding it hard to breathe. She heads to where a car is already waiting, body hardening more and more with every step. She slips into the car with clenched teeth, holding back a scream and ignoring the injuries, silence filling the space around them, her companion probably sensing that any words now would have been a grave mistake. The engine roars into life and purrs softly as they pass the house, her eyes drifting past it, small trails of blood and dirt marking the dashboard as she leans on it, ordering her muscles to stay strong and carry her through the rest of this infernal day. Her lungs forcing themselves to heal as the air pushes through them with build-up fury. She was exhausted like never before in this life that she was a part of. But the flames in her blood were constantly moving, putting her together and slowly mending, piece by piece.
Boss?
Finally, the man in the car speaks, ready to face the beast that sat beside him if necessary, concern, taking the lead above anything else, pushing survival instincts deeper into his being.
This... shall not be discussed. Do you... hear me, Ramsey?
Each syllable that falls out of her mouth is a struggle so intense that every time that she utters a sound, the nails dig more into the dashboard, leaving ragged holes in it.
Of course. But do you need any help?
I don’t... need anyone else’s help. Is that... clear?
Her breathing becomes even more difficult again.
Yes, Boss. It is. And you’re going to be perfectly fine, no other option.
His voice is calm and certain as he speaks.
Slowly, she shifts her head and looks up at him, some of the tension loosening up as the healing process begins. Gazing at him, she allows herself to smile, but this time there is something peaceful about it, grateful.
Thank you.
Even if he is surprised, he doesn’t show it, nodding in response. She closes her eyes and leans back against the car seat, letting the body relax a bit. A change of strategy was necessary, but first, she needed to soothe the chaos before it could be released. And there were ways for it, there were always ways.
_______
Part 2
Raven
molded within lost nights and darker times
yet still, she dreamt
in pastel colors,
swallowing the light between thick scars
like crusted, lavender stars
Ana Luna
The water drips slowly from the tap and into an old-fashioned bathtub, a thin line of rust coloring the tiles on its path. She lifts a foot and shifts it, blocking the flow with her toe, her big blue eyes showing signs of exhaustion, black hair pinned loosely on top of her head, cheeks flushed from the hot bath. It’s been a long day, and she was only starting to understand what was going on with her. Or at least that’s what she thought. Because in truth, she just felt as clueless as ever, the recent events in her life, leaving her lost like a child in the dark, scared more and more with every new thing that she found out about herself. Mel made it a bit better, helping every step of the way but... She shifts her head to the side and gazes numbly at the sink and the mirror above it, then her stare shifts to the three toothbrushes in a lavender ceramic cup. Her own that she brought here a few days ago. Then the other two that belonged to Mel and her husband Ben, that was away from home the bigger part of the year but would be coming back soon. Well, soon in Ben’s standards anyway - he was in the Air Force. Honestly, she couldn’t wait for that, knowing how much it would make her friend happy, as she missed him like crazy, even if she tried to mask it.
A heavy sigh escapes her throat. She didn’t like to impose on Mel and her time. But her friend wasn’t going to be persuaded otherwise, making sure that she was safe and sound. She loved Mel and treated her like family, an older sister that she never had, yet still felt like only a nuisance, an unnecessary problem that no one ever wanted. All of her young life, she was treated like trash and a pushover by her own parents and other distant members of the family, and it was one of the reasons why she left the house so fast at barely sixteen. She did it before they could kick her out themselves. Only her aunt and her kids treated her differently, and she was eternally thankful for it. They were the little happiness she always craved for.
But still, she wasn’t used to being cared for and preferred doing stuff on her own, without needing to explain to others about how she wanted to live. She was way past that faze. The tattoo on her side in the shape of a long black feather a proof of that. A constant reminder to stay strong, and not to let other people take advantage of her anymore. Despite what everyone thought, she wasn’t the weak creature that they took her for.
Some things should be just mine, even if just the little ones.
She says quietly and looks back at the tap, her legs slipping back into the water that was starting to get cold, mind drifting to the damages she caused to Mel’s garden - and she winces, pained, hating to be a cause of that. Feeling guilty all the time and not understanding the new powers moving in her muscles without any rest. Constantly THERE. Plus, there was also... She sits up abruptly, splashing water onto the floor. The strange energy that she felt today, like a sudden explosion. Wind picking up without any warning and blowing so strong that she thought a storm was coming, ready to at any moment jump and run to the basement for cover. It made her stomach flip, every muscle in her body stiffening as if she had just been electrocuted, spine tensing into one straight line. And then that sound that made her skin crawl sideways, that blood-chilling moan. Or was it just her imagination playing with her tired mind, blending with the roaring howls of the wind?
Did she really hear a woman’s cry?
She shivers and quickly steps out of the bathtub, wrapping her body in a big, deep purple towel and resting her hands against the creamy sink. What the hell was that? She questions into the empty space around her, eyes falling to her reflection. She looked scared and confused, terrified of everything that seemed to be happening in the last few days.
Well, whatever it was today, it went away, though Mel didn’t seem to be even half as scared as she was but looking anxious, fingers curling in and out. She sent her a few weary stares, but eventually, Mel just shook it off, telling her not to worry too much and that all will be well. She took the advice as best as she could, yet the feeling stayed with her for many hours, the memory of it still lingering deep under the skin. What was she to do? What if something worse happened?
What if she hurt someone?
Her nerves start to pick up, hands holding the sink tighter, muscles straining, panic overtaking her and causing the blood to almost freeze in her veins, attacking the deepest structure of her bones. And without even a second break, the lights above her head begins to blink, making those snapping, sickening sounds again. It makes her flinch with eyes shutting tightly, knowing better now. SHE was causing that, and it made her entire body swim in fear, feeling like she might suffocate at any moment. She shakes her head and quickly works on the breathing, trying to meditate just like Mel taught her, taking deep, steady breaths. And thankfully, after a while, the lights stop flickering, everything in the room becoming still. The only remaining evidence of life in the four walls coming from the rushed pulse of her heart, still quivering like a baby bird thrown out into the cold too fast. She exhales slowly but still trembles like a leaf.
I just need sleep, it will help. And when I wake up, it will all just be another nightmare, the morning pushing all of the shadows away. It will, it will, it will. She closes her eyes tight shut again and chants like a stubborn little girl, then almost runs out of the bathroom and into her temporary bed on the second floor. It will, it will, it will. It has to. Please, please, please.
Just make it stop already.
Body trembles as she curls into a tight ball, warm flannel sheets covering her as if in a carefully made nest, an illusory symbol of safety for the frail little bird made of a softly painted, night-colored soul. No longer a brave raven, but barely a black robin lost in the everlasting Winter’s night, so far away from the sun.
_____
Previous chapters:
1. https://theprose.com/post/377363/worlds-colliding-part-1-extended
2. https://theprose.com/post/215912/signs
3. https://theprose.com/post/219168/the-stripes-on-a-tiger
4. https://theprose.com/post/223324/disturbance-in-the-matter
.
5. https://theprose.com/post/237003/leaving-marks-part-1-2
6. https://theprose.com/post/237515/leaving-marks-2
7. https://theprose.com/post/266243/cause-and-effect-part-1-2
8. https://theprose.com/post/266557/cause-and-effect-part-2
.
9. https://theprose.com/post/324197/rooted-grounds-and-foundations
10. https://theprose.com/post/327453/by-the-strands-that-bind-us
11. https://theprose.com/post/358325/reaching-infinity-in-the-dark
12. https://theprose.com/post/378579/where-the-blackbirds-talk