911 Calls

Because of a post done by Chacko_Stephen,

I was reminded that I have these actuall 911 calls.

Have you ever given any thought as to what runs through

people’s minds when they call 911 and ask the following questions?

This is a time when truth is stranger than fiction.

And keep in mind, these things actually happened.

Enjoy

*****

911 One-Liner’s

Can you call the gas station on I-95 and let me know which ones are still open?

Can you send someone out to my house to change the battery in my smoke detector? I can’t reach it.

Please connect me to the switchboard.

I have the hiccups.

When’s my power coming back on?

There is a squirrel on my porch.

Where the hell are my food stamps? I’m a taxpayer, you know!

Why is the sun so hot in Arizona?

I have a Q-tip stuck in my ear!

There are too many cars parked on the street where I live.

My phone doesn’t work.

Bad Idea Calls

Dispatcher: Sheriff’s Department.

Male Calling: Yeah, do you deliver dope. Ah, me and my girlfriend, we need some dope.

According to an Associate Press article, a 45-year-old man led police on a high-speed chase between Texas and Oklahoma. The fleeing felon lost his patience and kept calling 911 asking the operator to tell the police to stop chasing him.

Dispatcher: 911.

Man: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. Out of breath. I think I’m gonna pass out.

Dispatcher: Where are you calling from?

Man: I’m at a pay phone at Ninth and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Man: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Man: Running from the police.

Other 911 Calls

Dispatcher: 911. Fire or emergency?

Caller: Neither one. My son was bothering me. Just wanted to let you know.

Dispatcher: What location are you calling from?

Caller: I’m not calling from a location. I’m calling from my cell-phone.

Dispatcher: 911. What’s the nature of your emergency, please?

Woman: I’m trying to reach nine-eleven, but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is 9-11.

Woman: I thought you said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am, nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Woman: Honey, I may be old but I’m not stupid!

Dispatcher: 911. What’s the nature of your emergency?

Man: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are about two minutes apart!

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Man: No, you idiot! This is her husband!