life’s a little more should’ve than i wish it was.
a little too give
and take it back.
the tasteful aesthetic i’ve carefully curated in my mind
the converse i dangle from ledges and
use to stomp crushed up leaves and
smolder against painted murals, all while
dayglow plays in the background,
feel a little more side character in an indie movie.
should’ve opted for the combat boots-
or just bought new converse when these ones “artfully” ripped.
the windbreaker with burns from Bunsen Burners
and acid spillage discoloration coloring the bunched up,
elastic worn sleeves feel a little more
turned failing student,
should’ve tie-dyed a lab coat-
or just worn shorter sleeves to lab.
the angsty letters i wrote in high school to almost lovers,
all model united nations diplomats on weekends and
mountain-dew gamers on weeknights,
feel a little angry pink chick who stamps emo hearts into
her almost freckled cheeks so her my chemical romance
limited-edition vinyl feels more
should’ve written the letters by candlelight and burned them out of existence-
or just told the people in a timely fashion and moved on.
my pink slips in elementary school on
color polls for pointless reasons
feels so unoriginal,
so girl-next-door who’s desperate to fit in
because she’s tired of hanging out with random people
should’ve picked indigo or some crazy crayola sixty-four-
or just specified the pink i chose.
life’s a little more could’ve than i wish it was.
don’t be mistaken.
not all should’ve‘s are could’ve’s or can’s.
should’ve is a specific state of mind.
not concrete dreams,
but some long-lost,
half-formed passionate reflection
of a sunday daydream.
should’ve mobilized the figments as they came into a story of a thousand experiences-
or just gotten a tumblr in 2009.