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I'm lonely. Write something funny!
Anything goes. Prose, poetry, maybe something that happened to you today! Again, anything silly.
Profile avatar image for GLD
GLD
• 82 reads

Little Rita the Laugher

Well...I’m not really a comedian, but this looked fun. So, here we go. ~ GLD

* * * * * * * * * *

Little Rita the Laugher

Was a funny little tot

She laughed at everything

And whatnot

Her parents were in despair

They did not know what to do

For how do you discipline a laughing child

How to make the first move

They tried everything

And even more

But their attempts were met with laughter

And they were left despaired

When they tried to teach her how to eat

Yes, eat all her veggies and meat

She smiled at them, finding it funny

And then laughed as she dug her hands into the food

She didn’t want to use a fork

She didn’t want to use a spoon

They taught her as best they could

But the food still was scooped in by hand

When she broke Mama’s favourite vase

She stood among the shattered glass

She smiled in bewilderment

And then burst out laughing, till the tears rolled

Mama preached for a very long time

But lil’ Rita did not stop or sober

She just kept on laughing

Falling weakly into Mama’s arms

Well, Papa decided she needed a spanking

But he barely even touched her

Before she burst out laughing

And what else was there to be done

It did not stop here

It seemed to just get worse

When one looked at her disregard for safety

Or her treatment of her siblings

She crossed a road

Without ever glancing sideways once

She danced over the pavement

Laughing out giddily

Mama’s nerves became shattered

She would lose her little girl

For cars didn’t always stop

When they oughta

Papa told his little girl to never play with knives

But one morning he came into the kitchen

And there was Rita

Fiddling with a serrated-edged knife

She made it dance with a fork

And then she slipped off the table

Papa screamed in fear

But when he reached her, she was laughing

The knife had struck her soft cheek

And blood was spurting out

But the little girl did not seem bothered by the pain

Instead, she seemed to take pleasure in it

Papa and Mama got very worried

And decided to consult a doctor

But when in the car

They quickly learned her sibling treatment

Her big brother was listening to his music

When she grabbed and pulled out his earphones

Laughing as she stuffed it into her own ears

To his chagrin, she clung to it like honey

Her baby brother screamed to her other side

And she rushed to shush him up

Giggling over his face

She stared down at him with a twinkle in the eye

Suddenly, she started laughing and laughing

Her brothers stared at her in horror

For it turned maniacal in no time

And she turned blue

Well...Until she passed out

...

.....

.......

So, the doctor finally gave his diagnosis

As Rita the Laugher lay in the big bed

Her black hair stood out starkly

Against the white bed

Her face was pale

But a smile hovered round her lips

As tears squeezed out from underneath her closed eyes

She was lying at death’s door

The doctor said she struggled with a condition

It was some bug in her brain

It made her want to laugh all the time

Even when she had to take things seriously

Yes, she seemed like a little demon

But, really, she was just trying in her own way

And in reality,

It wasn’t her fault

Her family spoke the language of the world

Doom and gloom

And lil’ Rita spoke the language of another dimension

One of happiness and joy

No sad tear could ever cross her face

Because she didn’t understand sadness

And all those odd things she did

Was just a result of things she couldn’t do or understand

She was allergic to forks and spoons

And she was unable to comprehend

That people were in a hurry

And didn’t have all the time in the world

She was unable to understand that she annoyed her brothers

For in her mind it was all just a bit of teasing

So, they found her to be a piece of hell

But she really was just trying to bond with them

No, Rita would be fine

Give her a week

And she would be back at home

Ready to laugh at everything

But, after that day

Rita laughed a little less

Instead, she resorted to smiling

Lots and lots of smiling

And when Mama told Papa she didn’t understand why

Lil’ Rita suddenly piped up and said,

“I’m twoo shkaird fo laufin

Cosh’I almoth died laufin”

“Buth, I’m shtill shmileng

Cosh’I don’t wanth

All o’ you twoo be shad”

* * * * * * * * * *

What nonsense I can come up with sometimes...Oh well, maybe there’s something wrong with my brain too. :P

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