In and Out

In and out.

That is all it takes, but why is it so hard?

Every breath feels like a punch in my gut.

I'm pulling in so much oxygen, but maybe it is too much?

My lips feel dry and my lungs scream for air, but why?

I'm breathing aren't I?

My pounding heart is causing a headache and my fingers are starting to go numb.

Why is this happening?

I tell myself all I need to do is breath in and out.

One breath at a time.

But the ground suddenly starts to look so appealing.

And the bathroom stalls are starting to spin.

Is this what it feels like to die?

Still breathing, but the world is distorted.

Still standing, but my knees feel like jello.

Still holding on, but I would rather be on the floor.

But then she comes and holds me up.

"Hey, look at me. Just follow my breaths."

I nod and let her hold me.

"In and out. In and out. That's it. Slowly."

I match her pace and smile as feeling comes back into my hands.

My lungs fill with just the right amount of oxygen.

Not too much, not too little.

Now the world stops turning.

And the hands wrapped around me are more comforting then the dirty floor.

Now she smiles and I smile back.

"See? All you had to do was breathe. And now the world is back to normal."

Yes, this is living.

One small breath at a time.

In and out.