Shake Up Wake Up

This isn’t about you, but it is.

It’s about you having to relinquish control and your need to always know everything. It’s about how far you are willing to go and what will you risk. Who will you risk? Is it age, angst, anger, or being around someone so resentful that you picked up their negative vibe and unconsciously made their beliefs yours, or maybe just questioned your own beliefs?

We are all in the midst of the toughest journey will have ever known, and it is not to belittle anything that happened in your life. You can be sorry about the situation but do not be sorry. You had no hand in this part, but the long-term effects will be on you.

You cannot fathom the depths of the damage each of us has suffered. The torment within our hearts and minds as we struggle daily just to function. We are angry, depressed, anxious and scared. For ourselves and for each other. We all show it, or not, in different ways. This is not to say you never felt sadness or fear or anger, but in this journey, you are the support, not the victim. You must learn to not only listen but to HEAR. You must understand that we are all in tremendous pain, and inside our heads is a terrible place to be.

You manifest the feelings we have or display, make the, your own and without realizing it, you are alienating your blood. Your family is hurting, and I trauma, and making demands and forcing control when you are not fully aware is a dangerous game. Again, what are you willing to risk for your words, actions and beliefs. Are they your own or self-imposed to fit in? Be brutally honest with yourself because the right answer may be the wrong answer. Think, I beg of you, think on the words you say and the time you use to say them. None of us is perfect, and we are all broken. You will be hurt, angry, and sad. You may not like hearing what we say, but you need to hear it, listen, internalize and act accordingly. Apologies will need to be made if you want to work on repairing what is now a painfully taut balance. If you stumble the wrong way, you will find yourself pushed out, bereft and devoid of one you love the most.

Love is accepting the imperfection and independence of those people whom you call family. It is being nonjudgmental and careful since times have changed, and as humans, evolution is hard. Personality shaped by our environment is not doomed to exist forever, it can be manipulated to a greater understanding of the dynamics of love and acceptance with no strings, no pained words and strained relationships.

This will be the hardest truth you will ever need to face. You must step away from yourself, your past, and your history and try to understand today's situation. The moment to moment existence we are each coping with every day. We are at the bottom of the mountain as must face the perils of the uphill, twisted climb to reach our peace, our salvation and understanding. Give us that. Join us on the journey. But please, step back and try to temper your words, your tone and thoughts. Do not take mine, even if I am venting, and make them your own, in anger and moments when we feel hurt, we do and say things that are not necessarily what we mean with our hearts, and these are the dangerous words and times. We are always growing, and it is not about you. Nobody questioned your giving nature, but are you doing it for the right reasons? Think hard and dissect your answers and thoughts cautiously. Be prepared to cry, to offer apologies and to hurt, as we are all not who we seem to be.