Last time

I said the last time was the last time. I have probably said this a hundred times in different situations, but one stood out more. It was the moment I hopelessly fell in love without warning. When I did stupid thinks without thinking it over, when my mind constantly floated and then just like that...boom reality would come down crashing on me like an astroide. He would leave and I would find myself curled up in a bed crying my eyes out. My days turned to nights and my nights to days. I lived off draining my body physically so I would not feel anything emotionally. My mental health had gone out the door and all I had to cling onto was the hope of making it through another day.

And finally! when I had gathered myself. I would tell myself this was the last time I would feel this pain. A lie I must have told myself a million times. Cause there you were, with you box filled with empty promises and my heart melted.

In that moment, rationality slip away. I heard myself say "This is the last time."

Funny how this time is the last time too.