the eternity that will never be.

“I’ll love you for all of eternity!”

But we didn’t have eternity. We had a year. 

If time is one of the most valuable things to ever exist, then why is it so easy to lose?

I never really realized how much we take time for granted; that is, until the hourglass of life was coming to an end. More specifically, your hourglass of life. 

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“You have one year at best.” 

One year. Only one year, at best. Once a year goes by, you’ll go along with it. You’ll be gone, you won’t be here anymore, you’ll be dead; you’ll leave my side. 

I was terrified, I was scared; but above all, I was angry. How? Why? How could you let someone as amazing as you only be given a year left? Why would you ever let someone as wonderful as you only have a year left of your life? I was furious. 

But was I really? Was I just using anger to hide the pain I was feeling? I certainly didn’t know. But what I did know is that you weren’t feeling the same things I was. No, in fact, you were smiling. 

“Don’t worry! I’ll be fine!”

But how could you ever know that? That’s right, you don’t. Because in the end, you won’t be fine; you’ll be dead. 

But behind that smile, I knew that you were just as terrified as I was. You were just trying to be the strong one. How pathetic of me. I should be the one smiling through the pain, not you. I wasn’t the one with a time limit, you were. But I couldn’t bring myself to smile at a time like that; for all that was in my mind, was a life without you. 

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We tried our best to make the most of the year. It wasn’t easy. After all, the thought of you suddenly disappearing from my life was always in the back of my head, taunting me each and every passing second. But once I saw your smile, it filled me with hope, a hope that made me believe that things really will be fine. 

With your remaining days, we spent the days living on the edge without a care in the world. From skydiving to flying halfway across the world, we tried our best to fill our days with sunshine and smiles; keyword, tried. 

If there were ups, there were obviously going to be downs. There were times where you’d randomly collapse and give me a heart attack, there were times where I cried myself to sleep in fear that one day, I’ll wake up without you by my side, there were times where we both cried. We were scared, but who could blame us? We were going to lose each other.

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And lose each other did we. The year went by with a blink of the eye, and before I knew it, I was standing before your grave with flowers in my hand and tears trailing down my face. How? How did everything end so quickly? I still had so much more I wanted to do with you, to tell you; but unfortunately for us, the universe was against us. Maybe it was telling us that we weren’t meant to be, that we weren’t right for each other. But if so, the universe can go to hell because I was willing to sacrifice the world for you. 

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But that’ll never happen,

because before our very eyes, 

eternity had ended.