Teaching somebody to Love

I’m probably not the best person to explain this.

I have trouble talking to people. I have severe trust issues, but I’m trying to reach out to new people, but it just gets me anxious. I’m very aware of the things that can happen to me, especially online. That’s why I’m writing this.

We can learn together. Not only how to love, but what it feels like to be loved. I have a small circle of people I give the high honour of being in my company. It’s not me being a snob, it’s literally because I can’t be friends with a lot of people due to my social anxiety. I assume everybody’s out to get me and I don’t go out in public often, so in the past few years, two maybe, I’ve been alone with 4 or 5 people outside of my biological family. Within the past year, I’ve seen 3 people. My S/O, @RedWingsBlack , and @AnneLGray. I don’t trust anybody else. I find it a little easier to talk to people online, but that’s difficult.

But back to the topic at hand, love. To me, Love is dropping everything because something has gone wrong. If that means I need to starve for a week, then that’s what happens. Love is not something I use lightly, because it shouldn’t be used lightly. People have made the term “I love you” seem a lot lighter, and I said it a lot to somebody I shouldn’t have.

So here is my guide to love, (from somebody with trust issues and is also clingy):

Tip one:

Reserve your “I love you”s for somebody that you know is important, and isn’t going to abandon you for somebody better at their first chance.

Tip two:

Keep that person very close to you. Better to seem clingy than uninterested. If you think they will leave, you aren’t doing it well enough. More on that later.

Tip three:

Keep your circle of friends small. There’s less people to worry about, and if you’re the only person they have to worry about, then they are gonna be less likely to ditch you without good reason. If they do ditch you, then you know this person will ditch you again in the future.

Tip four:

Do whatever you can to be their ideal version of a friend. People tend to stay with somebody that is worried about what they want.

Tip five:

Keep the people you trust close. If they want to keep you close as well, then you can keep your eyes off of them for at least a little bit. They won’t harm you unless prompted.

Tip six:

Learn the patterns of the people you trust. What do their messages look like when they are angry? What about when they are sad? What does it sound like when they call you? Anger, sadness, happiness? What if they just want some time alone? Figure that out, so you can always stay on their good side. Read the tone of the messages.

Tip seven:

Keep our emotions down. The less you need to be taken care of, the longer your friendship will last. You can let it out later, therapists exist for a reason.

Tip eight:

Tell nobody of your tactics. This list is for your gain. The more people find out about it, the worse off you are.

Tip nine:

Follow your friends. find every last detail you can about them. When you know everything about them, you can offer better advice.

Tip ten:

Don’t just sit there while they rant, or talk. Ask questions. They’ll want to talk more if you are active.

Tip eleven:

Smile more, make yourself seem smaller, look at their lips. The more superior they feel, the better. If you make them feel powerful, they’ll be more likel to pay attention to you.

Tip twelve:

Keep yourself in check. Read the proverbial room, and keep them happy.

Tip thirteen:

When they are happy, you are. Your life is just fine, you’re always just alright. If they are doing good, so are you. If they are doing badly, you’re upset over it. Ask them what’s wrong.

Tip fourteen:

If they leave, do everything in your power to get them back. They should be your world. Nobody is their match.

Tip fifteen:

Be extremely compliant. They come before you, no matter what. This is the most vital piece of information I can give you.

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This is extremely incriminating, I know. You’re welcome.

Take care, please.

Winter.