The sick game

I feel like my body is playing roulette with my emotions, it all changes so quickly, I can be happy for a second, then anxious, then sad, then angry and the happy again.

I wonder what is the prize in this game, is it my destruction? Or at the end my body doesn't know what happiness is?

No pill can change this, because I have pills, and I still feel the same, what can I do? If science doesn't even work?