I Was Having a Blast

Do I remember. I do? I don’t? Does that make me a pretender? (Chrissy Hind?) In the 8o’s I was still a juvenile offender. Free to fool around all day. Not an overdo bill hanging over my head that need to be paid someday.

Out running on two good knees. Living off the old mans dime. Rent free. In a beachfront cottage most of the time. Lucky me.

I agree I’ve led a charmed life. Up until i had to start footing the bill. For myself and eventually two kids and a wife. Now free time is a distant memory. And my thoughts pull me in opposite directions. As I work another weekend away from my family.

Because I’ve been thru enough dry spells. To worry if I’ve enough saved to get us thru the next. Lest it leave us in hell. When not if it comes. As its flip flopped so often now. Three times in my lifetime. Every new decade the economies been cursed with a hex.

A long time has past since the burden of learning this knowledge beset me and my thoughts specifically. Denying me all the pleasantries I’d had known before. When I was free from responsibility. And had yet to learn the knowledge of good and evil. Blissfully ignorant of what providing for oneself or any other entails.

Not a worry in the world beyond where my friends were surfing at, skateboard was hiding, or the fish were biting. What others thought of me or themselves hadn’t yet crossed my mind. As I reveled with all the other little devils on the block. Till the first knock to my pride. A betrayal by a trusted companion that caught me off guard. Believing I could spot a lier and steer well wide of the mire caused by such. I was blind to the fact one of my closest could conspire against me. Before that I was truly free. Ignorance is Bliss.