Future Tripping
"Surprise! Happy Birthday!"
All in attendance cried. As they jumped out of their hiding places enthusiastically spry.
The Soothsayer flinched, rolled his eyes, raised a clinched fist, said "You got me" with his last breath and died.
Drawing an uproarious laugh from all their to celebrate his birthday. Even those directly at his side.
A hush came over the crowd. As they awaited what the joker would do next. And slowly some came to the realization that they just witnessed his last act. While others yelled shit like "Real funny. Ass hat!"
RIPPED
Reeking of smoke. Red eyed. Our hearts broke. As the flame flickers. And two fools bicker. Over who’s the butt of a joke.
Laughing too loud to hear another pot head choke. Puff Pass & Prose. Got me talking to a ghost. Never met a better host.
Intending to retire. I turn to slip away from the bonfire. Having watched another trail off into the darkness.
Inspired my mind is racing to remember their voices. First among my friends who‘d made similar choices. That led them to the place we gathered. Where watching the sunsets and surf were all that mattered. Until one of us passed. And our world was shattered.
Is that a fact?
They made me laugh. And had me crying. Feeling stupid, fearful, furious, and jealous. Because I trust they’re lying. I find their jokes, quotable. And their quotes, notable. Never burdened by the fact it’s a bunch of bull.
It doesn’t matter what they look like. Makes no difference where they’re from. Their gender is a relevant. As is their religion, net worth, and age. I’m only drawn to what they’ve penned to page. And thereafter the pen names. Of those imaginations I’ve found ageless.
Peaking to Soon
A mountain? Of a man? Depends on who’s counting. One can make a mountain out of a mole hill if prone to overreacting.
Mountains once made for great divides. Separating cultures, flora & fauna, and many other creatures that come to mind. It was the hunting of those creatures. And gathering of edible plants. That spurned said groups to climb those mountains to see what they might find on the other side. Despite the great probability of falling or freezing to death. Because their hunger or curiosity wouldn’t subside.
There are mountains seemingly reaching for the heavens. And even greater ones sprouting from the ocean floor just trying to get their head above water.
Mountains make for strenuous climbs and exhilarating descents. And mankind generally makes every effort to forego climbing their peaks. By finding passes thru with lesser inclines.
And of course there are those that climb earths tallest peaks for? No other reason than ego or excitement comes to mind.
One can’t forget the mountains of trash mankind's consumerism has supplied. And most prolific of all? The mountains of trouble our forefathers have engineered for us all. Is a Sherpa’s to guide us thru such troubled waters an order to tall?
Crucial Crucifix
"Skirt! Screech! Smash! Bang" Imagining a car crash in action. Rubber melting, metal twisting, glass breaking, and rubberneckers picture taking. For a simple fender bender. No apparent injuries in the making.
Air bags no. But I could use a paper one to throw up in. My insurance is going to go thru the roof. If I can’t somehow pull a fast one. On this soon be rube getting out of his ride in front of me. I pulled myself together and got into character. A sympathy seeking simpleton? Some man on man cunnilingus? Or an all knowing all powerful being possessing superior knowledge? Time to use those 18 weeks of college.
As the golden god approached my coach. I snickered because he’s about to learn it’s nearly impossible to kill a roach. From what i’ve read about this guy he’s petty, impulsive, and vain. Why else would he create humans in his own image. Only to throw them all to the wolves. On a bet with an unruly son?
"God damn me? I’m a son of a bitch. You motherless fool! Found no love as a child. So the truth of such is foreign to you? How does the so called almighty allow his car to crash into me? Of course this is something you had foreseen. So your failure to avoid it is a premeditated assault unto thee.
With malicious intent.
Because of what? A sense of entitlement. We‘re all just sacrificial lambs to you right? I got to pay for something you failed to do. Take a hike, your head out of your ass, and lay of the burning bush. Your momma didn’t raise you right."
Stale Beer Tales
Last dawn of a long weekend. In a wondrous fog. At the back end of a bottle. Drinking the Hair of the Dog. Let’s reminisce about that time I was high on the hog. Over the unbearable lightness of a being. A pawg.
"Ugh" I reek I think. As I reach for
Tequila the Terrible. My morning after bitter pill. For me nothings quite comparable. But when my headache goes away, it will prove once again. The nightly desecration of my body is seemingly repairable.
"Ugh" Here we go again. Waking up hung over, in a strangers abode. And unfortunately for her, despite all the kissing and cunnilingus we did last night. I remain an uncomely toad.
"Ugh" My heads pounding. And where the fuck did I put my clothes? I needed these to hit the road. "Uh-oh" A wave of nausea comes over me. And I’m sent running for the commode. Where I subsequently shit splattered the back of the bowl. To my surprise even after hearing all that. She still demanded.
"Get your ass back in here and give me one for the road"
The last meager load. Of a toad that’s been rode hard. And probably sub-par at best. Out of breath just taking a shit. I needed rest!
I apologize in advance. I’m not proud of what I did next. And there’s no way to sugar coat it for you. Like I had her breasts.
The paint was beginning to peel on the bathroom walls. So was her make-up as I recall. And I can’t remember ever having worse smelling balls.
Reached for TP and my hand free falls. No sweat. I was prepared for such a basic pitfall. Washed my hands with soap and light a match. Good call. Dressed freshened my breath. And checked to see if I had all my things. Before reminding her she was out of TP. As I passed her bedroom running down the hall.
"Your out of TP babe. Don’t sweat it I used one of your towels. Go back to bed night owl. No harm no foul. I’ll call"
"Wait what? Get back here. You son of a bitch"
Already beginning to feel better. As I’d followed the alcoholics handbook to the letter. I was gone in a flash. But could still vaguely hear her cursing my name. When I’d halted my mad dash before tripping and coming up lame. Feeling I’d put a safe distance between me and that damn dame. I try to remember her name. Wearing a cynical grin. As I recall everyone of our so called (forgivable?) sins. Trying to convince myself I’ll find time to call.
Writers on the Storm
"Well, would you look at that" Whispered the Wind. Upon finding such placid seas before thee. Out f breath a nearly dead wind. Summoned its last gasp attempting to reveal itself and said.
"Hello! Let’s go. Get moving Sea!"
"No thanks Wind I’ve settled in quite nicely. Pipe down and try to be more low key"
Replied the Sea.
"I hope you’re ready to make a splash? This blowhards here to light a fire under your ass"
Countered the Wind. Which in turn caused a normally levelheaded Sea to respond contemptuously.
"Shut your trap, you ain’t got the gas. what do you foresee blowing in for me? Victory at Sea. Will you huff and puff and blow me away? Your woof early scratch the surface. Go away I’m sleeping in today"
We’re upon hearing such ridiculous guff. The Wind sarcastically yawned and said "Enough is enough" Followed by a seawolf’s deafening growl. Which of course caused a chain reaction. Wherein the Winds started howling. Blowhards from all over cutting in with their two cents. Growing and strength from a gusty gale. Into a massive cyclone, last of the season late in the fall.
The ripple effect on the water. Growing into a myriad of massive rollers. Cresting high above foreboding troughs. White capping so treacherously no Sea Captain worth their salt would dare to scoff.
Days later a thousand miles away. I stand on a bluff changing out of my wetsuit elated and exhausted. Pondering a thought
The bodies taking shape before me. Tall drinks of water. Blindsided surfers not up to the task. Lead their like lambs to the slaughter.
For those who’s skill our good fortune ferried them passed the shore break. There rose plentiful peaks advertising perfection. World class waves peeling of in either direction. Offshore winds standing them up for some last second corrections. Send sea spray shimmering skyward. And lesser surfers scrambling for the channel and it’s perceived protection.
As another who’s placed themselves directly in the path of the oncoming swells. Meets one at its apex. Entirely under its spell. As it prepares to crest and crash on the reef. In its awesome display of its power.
There atop a towering peak. A surfer nearly has in their grasp. All that they seek. "Backside? No frontside" The right side of the goofy footers brain insists. A hundred yards down the line later. You can hear the surfer howling. Finishing an epic ride on the beach.
Mole hills Into mountains
She slung her bag over her shoulder and took off down the the mountainside. When she looked back at her father she blushed. As his face was gleaming with pride.
As each stride took her farther and farther away I cried. Strangely some of the happiest and saddest tears every to run down my face. Of coarse these would soon dry. And I’d call everyday for a while. Just to briefly say hi.
Before quickly let her go explaining. I didn’t want to pry. A bold faced lie. That never fooled the young lady so sometimes she’d oblige me before I’d even tried.
Where two mountains meet she’d find a valley. That a river ran down to the coast. Somewhere out in Cali. There she’d board a sailboat. For a plane was to safe a way for her to get to Bali.
The only tips I had for her was to be wary but friendly. And don’t be tricked into buying any fake Australian Molly. The last time we talked I said I love you to her. And call me.
I didn’t call my mother for a month when I went. Said she was a wreck inside. I know now how much my actions were appalling. When she took two weeks to call me. Before I picked up the phone. I had to stop balling.
Every thing was fine. She’d been having a great time. I held it together long enough to seem excited for her. And thanked her for dropping a dime. A saying to antiquated for her to get? Hoping she‘d ask me to explain it to her. Keeping her lovely voice coming across the line.
Thank goodness she lets my nerves find a little reprieve. Letting me track her iPhone in case she ever gets into a bind. And of course she’s not traveling alone. She’s brought plenty of her friends along. Who like me would look under every stone. If she was gone too long.
So until I see her coming round the mountain. Climbing back up to her family home. I have be confident the head on her shoulders will keep her safe everywhere she wishes to roam.