I was determined to get Chris off my back once and for all. I mean, this guy just didn't take no for an answer, and frankly, I was tired of fending off his advances. So when he asked me out for what must have been the 30th time that week, I answered sweetly, "Alright."

Chris looked shocked, like I had just told him to put his dick in a cheese grater- except that when I had told him last week, it hadn't fazed him. "Am I hearing things?" He gasped. "Did you actually say yes?"

"Sure did," I replied. "But there's a catch. I'm inly going out with you to give you a chance to prove yourself. After all, I'm not about to date a guy who doesn't eat oussy as good as my girlfriend."

Chris looked confident. Though I had told him countless times, he still didn't believe I was a lesbian, and I'm sure he thought that I had finally succumbed to his manly ways and this was just a rise to get him into bed.

"Babe," he said, his ego swelling by the minute, "no one can do it better then me!" Then he wiggled his tongue obscenely to demonstrate. I quickly turned away, a little sick to my stomach. "Yeah well, just be at my house at eight tonight."