deep dark despair

A golden gown flowing from a throne

Lay lifeless in the lair.

Something deep down inside

Something underneath

Pushing up, out of my skin

A whale trying to breach.

No puncture made, no pain received.

Just the knowledge that it’s trapped.

(Am i the leak?)

No ones ever come back,

So they tell me.

And i wonder why, what’s so great on the other side?

That’s kept them away so long.

Here’s a letter to you, my friend.

You’ve been gone for a while.

(And now I’ll be cheesy, and talk about how the morning sun reminds me of your smile)

I never did you justice. Your lips were so so soft, and electric, it was scary.

I was just trying to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

And you left to get back to chemo,

Not with a kiss on the cheek,

You were always so bold, where i was meek.

We were so young then.

It’s the first day of my life, i thought,

As i unpacked bags for my first week of college.

Not a minute later, your death was brought to my knowledge.

“He died today, I’m so sorry” she said.

The first day of my life, and now you are dead.

You were so young then.

I never gave you a chance and slept on you, away from the pain of what i knew would come.

Your body tiny. Bones. Smile growing smaller, but never less bold.

I know. I know. I’m wallowing over something i never got to hold.

I’ll love you forever.