Dear Kevin,

I don't know what you are thinking. I don't know what to believe when you open your mouth to talk. You know that the power rests in your hands and just like anyone with the power at their palms, you are playing. One moment you want to be with me and the next you're saying that you don't feel the same way as I do. It's so confusing. And I can't do confusing. I love you, Kev. I love every single part of you but I can't keep doing this. This seesaw way of life. You said you are worth waiting for. What exactly am I waiting for? Don't get me wrong I don't mind waiting if what I'm waiting for is certain. But right now I'm waiting for the uncertain. I was willing to be yours and accept your brokenness. I was willing to wait when you deployed. I was willing.