loving the wrong person

his laughter, sharp and bright

filling the air with the love inside it,

reaching out to keep me in its confines

it was love, i am sure.

almost

i am almost sure.

was it love?

her body on top of mine,

filling the air with a sharp tension

i had never before felt

such a rush

like a gasp of life when your head comes out of the water

she was a stranger

he was my friend

it was not love with her

but it was certainly not wrong

loving him was

fast cars and loud music and quick motions

battling to prove ourselves in the circus of life

loving him was not wrong

but it was not right for me either

he loved me more

than i ever could have returned

because my body and mind betrayed me

and i ran him through the rings

in the circus of life

just so i could discover that i was wrong