Inadequate. It sums up today, yesterday and the day before. Less than what I should be and less than what I deserve or want to be.

It's a simple word. Something that someone who understands the meaning or has any recollection of how it feels like.

Some days it is not as bad. Some days you can push that emotion into the farthest depths and forget for even a second, a moment, that maybe you aren't.

But that good old feeling will come washing back over you very quickly as you begin again. A new day, a new opportunity to feel.

If I was given once chance or opportunity to wash it away. Maybe a bath bomb that pulls away all your bad feelings like Epsom salt to a sore back. Maybe, if there was that cure then I would be not just first in line, I would be pushing on the door as hard as a prospective bride at a sample sale.

I know that some of it is in my head. But that is not all of it. What I feel is what I know and what I have learned and been taught.

I know that not everything I do is that crazy, silly and fully encompassing word...but it is how I feel more than 75% of the time.

How do I change it? Is there a pill or a therapy or what? Please, I beg you to tell me. How do I stop feeling like every single thing I do for anyone else is...in fact....

Inadequate.