Furious

I am cute today. I twirl around in front of my mirror, happy with my costume. There is a Halloween dance today, so I dressed up like a bee, and my costume turned out so adorable! I twirled around one more time, then grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

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I love stake dances. My church holds region wide dances every month or so. In my humble opinion, they are way better than school dances for the one important reason that the DJ doesnt play rap.

I danced with my group of friends, happy and smiling. I turned around and saw Austin. My heart dropped. I didn't think he was going to come. He hates dances. Why is he here? My mind starts spinning, and my heart drops. I grabbed my friends arm and pulled her into the hallway.

"What are you doing Lila?" Raina said. She got a good look at my face." Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not okay. Austin is here, and I wasn't mentally prepared for this," I said.

"Well, go talk to him!"

"I'm so mad at him!" I said. And I found that it was true. I never get mad at anyone, and if I do, its mostly just annoyance. But right now I was seething mad at Austin. How dare he show up and ruin a perfectly good dance for me!

Raina gave me a hug.

"Its okay. You don't have to talk to him. Just go back out there and have fun."

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

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I feel so bad. My best friend is right there, right across the room, and I haven't even said hi yet. But he hasn't looked for me either. He doesn't know I'm here. I have to go say hi, or I'll beat myself up about it for weeks.

"Raina, I'm gonna go say hi," I said. She nodded.

I walked across the room.

"Hey Gavin. Hey Austin!" I said. "Where have you guys been?" I tried to sound happy to see them, but I sounded really mad instead.

"At work," Gavin said. Oh. Of course.

"You guys should come dance with my group! Its just all the guys from work, you know them," I said.

Austin looked at me. I could see exhaustion all through him.

"I don't want to be here," he said.

With that comment, my anger solidified.

How dare come, messing up my emotions, ruining a perfectly good night, and then say he doesn't even want to be here? I was beyond mad. I was furious.

"Well, if you guys end up wanting to dance, my group is right over there," I said. Then I turned around and walked out the door.

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I drove around in circles after the dance ended, not wanting to go home.

I tried to stop them, but the tears started flowing. Hot tears, heavy tears. Tears that felt like my soul was coming out with them.

I was so mad. So mad. I'm never mad, so it felt weird, wrong to feel this dark, evil emotion about someone I cared about so much.

I finally pulled into my driveway. I sent off one quick text before going inside.

"Austin. We need to talk."