Boring, boring, boring.

Each day, I wake up in the afternoon. I don't do mornings. I'm always a grumpy mess if I ever have to wake up early. I go to work in the late afternoon to night anyways, so I'm allowed to sleep in. Either way, I don't go to sleep until 4 am, so technically I'm still only sleeping 8 hours. Every day is the same as the one before - give or take minor changes like whether I wear a red shirt or a black one.

I wake up, use the bathroom, put on a small amount of make up to hide my bags and define my eyebrows, then I change for work and leave. I never eat. I'm always late. But that's routine. When I get home, I shower and then waste time on the internet until 3 or 4 am, which is when I play some classical music to help me fall asleep. I have night lights because I get sleep paralysis a lot. The lights help. I'm always tired, always hungry, and always sad. I get through each day unhappily, but I never change anything because I have no motivation to do so.

On my days off, I sleep much, much longer than 8 hours. I lock myself in my room, maybe eat a snack or two throughout the day, avoid interactions with my family - which will only be about how lazy or unhelpful I am, and I plan my escape. The day I can finally run away and be someone else. Maybe even be someone who's happy.

And to think, only six months ago I lived thousands miles away from where I am now and worked part time at a better job with better pay. I went out with friends. Had fun. And even then, I was still unhappy. My life took a 180 degree turn and I am still unhappy. But also grateful for many things. Or at least I try to be.

One day, I'll be by myself. Finally. And I'll be happy. I know it. And if I'm not? Fuck it. I only live once, I can deal with one lifetime of unhappiness. I've been doing it all my life so far, how bad can a few more decades be?

I know this isn't exactly a walkthrough of ONE day in my life, but it's an outline of how just about any day of my life is like. Go ahead. Pick a day. November 1st? Work. Read above. July 4th? Work. Read above. August 23rd? Idk, maybe it was one of my days off where I just slept and wasted the day away on the internet, looking for places to disappear to on a low budget. You can pick and choose any day and guess what I've done. Basically....read above.