LONESOME

No strong arms to hold me

Where I sit in my corner

A little too little love

Bestowed on the one needing more

Lonesome and alone

This is how I belong

Craving more hugs and love

Aching to share and show

Tired of celebrating on my own

Reaching milestones in mystery

I cheer for my quiet self

Not how I should be

I write and write

Staving off insanity

Not understanding what I need

Nor where I need to be

All these never-ending voices

Exactly how it’s always been

My own hero, my own villain

Praise myself, break myself down

Believe in the self, doubting self

I’m holding up myself by myself

Clinging to a crutch and hope

Passing the cracked walls of my heart

It is my fault, has to be

It’s only me that lives for me

How I made it to be

Treading my own path

The traveler going insane

Tamping his heartache

Laughing when the pain hides

Sometimes doing better than fine

Until everything crashes and I find

Just been walking on a thin line

Keeping my balance

Until I tipped over

Inexperienced as the newborn baby

An old soul saying last goodbyes

The jubilant sapling has died

Crumbling black branches abide

As dark and black as my nightmares

As dead, impossible as my dreams

Living on music and words

Pulling through on sugar and imagination

Sometimes climbing out of the hole

Let everybody know I’m still half-whole

The cycle repeats itself, proclaiming

The only consistent thing about me

I wish you well, and you, and you

Tomorrow, we can laugh again

Today I sit and drink in darkness

Ridding myself of all the blackness

Tomorrow, the sun will shine and I will smile

Tonight…I fight the demons of my soul

Lonesome and alone