impasse

faux evergreen lights

humming in red

echo of my boiling blood

bellowing beneath a superficial smile

a grey sky teases rain

and i scream, i scream--

no, i sit in silence haloing apathy--

for it to unleash it all

throwing rocks to shatter its brimming bottle of emotion

but pebbles are no threat to stoic minds

is stoicism fortitude?

or a bypass

tempting next year's calendars?

drain out all the tears

hollows lack poetry

but i fancy being one anyway

no i don't want to but sometimes all i can do is switch off my mind for relief from endless swigs of melancholia that threaten to dissolve me until i'm one with the raging ocean itself

but christmas lights glisten

and mutual trauma is packing tape

sometimes i find no Hope here, ironic

but thin threads attach to Elsewhere