Dissolved Butterflies
I always got off work when the cold, monotonous night rolled around. Despite the ongoing chaos that emerged from the city, my surroundings seemed empty and sterile. The cacophony of vehicles and pedestrians all blurred into an indistinguishable bubble of white noise. Each hazy fluorescent street light illuminated the concrete with a distinct pearly glow that was almost reminiscent to a hospital room. All these unwanted stimuli churned the waxing nausea within my gut.
It was such a large city but every nook and cranny seemed to be devoid of beauty. This disorganized pandemonium of unsavory night dwellers and the plethora of trash sprawled throughout the streets was overwhelming. The only place I could bear was the small alleyway a block away from my work. It was nestled surreptitiously behind a family owned bakery. They didn't get many sales but the ambience of the place was quaint and I always made sure to wave to the sweet couple that ran the store. Every day on my way to and from work I made sure to do it without fail.
Today, there was no one to greet. The windows had been brutally shattered and a rusty hammer was left by the flimsy rotating door. A decrepit "For Sale" sign hung pitifully by the entrance on a crooked nail.
"Murdered by thieves." A melodious voice called out.
I jolted. Where did that come from?
"That's what you were asking, wasn't it?" The soprano voice prodded.
I shook my head. I didn't recall ever opening my mouth to speak. By instinct, I grabbed the rusty hammer sitting at the base of my feet. Then, I cautiously turned around to meet the unsettlingly curt stranger.
She may have been the personification of a dream. Absinthe irises peered through the midnight fog. The girl began to stride forward and wispy, ethereal locks billowed behind her. When she walked under the lamp post, I could finally make out the finer details of her eyes. There was an alarming red tinge within her eyes and swollen purple bags beneath her lids.
A faded pink sweater was draped over her thin frame. As she held her arm up to wave, her sleeve rose ever so slightly to reveal an array of hair ties and rubber bands criss crossed over her forearm.
I raised my arm in suit and offered her a mechanical wave. A nagging pitfall in my stomach warned me to run and head straight home. But for some reason, I was captivated. The stranger locked her bold green gaze on me and refused to let go.
"You shouldn't wave murder weapons at random people." She chided.
I glanced at the hammer within my grasp and dropped it immediately. The dark red discoloration wasn't from rust. I unfurled and clenched my palm repeatedly and flaky, viscous droplets rolled down my arm.
It was blood.
"You might want to throw that away. They'll find your fingerprints on it soon." The girl nonchalantly suggested.
A flurry of retorts got caught in my throat. I wanted to scream. Ask what was wrong with her. And I wanted to run.
But I stayed and nodded. That gesture evoked an impassive grin from the girl and she took the weapon from my shaking fist. Without hesitation, she hurled it into the nearby dumpster.
"Can you take me home please? It's not really safe around here." She asked softly.
Wide emerald eyes looked up at me expectantly and quivering, pouted lips followed suit. Nobody could've said no.
"Sure." I told her as she grabbed me by the wrist and led me down the narrow alleyways.
Many turns later, we came across a rundown motel guarded by a starving guard dog. A distinct ribcage outline poked out of its mangy, grey fur and it snarled incessantly at us.
"Quiet." The girl reprimanded as she turned towards the dog. It ceased barking immediately and shrank away. Then, it collapsed into a fetal heap and laid motionless by the apartment entrance.
"Is it sleeping?" I wondered.
"No, it's dead." The girl corrected as she brutely jammed a key through the doorknob.
I didn't dare question her.
"Thanks for bringing me home. I appreciate it." She told me as she began to close the door shut. "I hope we run into each other again."
"Me too." I blurted.
"It'll happen soon." She reassured as she poked her head from the door for the final time. "Goodnight."
That night I dreamt of butterflies, the transient symbols of change.
-|-
True to her word, we did begin to run into each other often. She was a delivery girl who often stopped by my work. Occasionally, we'd walk to her apartment together if she came by when my shift ended.
There was no denying that she was strange. She was often reticent and easily flustered. It made me wonder why she even approached me in the first place.
I slowly began to know more and more about the girl under this enigma. Her name was Ruina and she lived alone. Due to her unfortunate circumstances, she had to leave university and did deliveries to get by. Neither of us had a concrete support system.
I asked if she had any friends and she replied with a humorless chuckle.
"Would you like to be my first?"
She held out her calloused hand expectantly and I locked her fingers in between mine.
"I'd love to."
-|-
We were both young, inexperienced and poor. Eventually, we decided that it would be best if we lived together to split the living costs. She invited me to share her motel room but I vehemently refused. The trashy apartment complex I lived at looked like a palace in comparison to the roach riddled motel she stayed at.
Both of us were horrible with words. She would always stumble over her words and stutter. I always spoke in raspy, hushed tones.
Yet, we decided to display our affections in other ways. Each morning, we'd help each other get ready for the day. She took it upon herself to prepare breakfast and iron my clothes. I'd do the dishes and style her hair.
One of her favorite styles was a French braid adorned with her antique clips. At first, tying together her stubborn waves was a challenge but soon it became second nature. Weaving the tiny metal butterfly clips was my favorite part.
However, she refused to let me touch her hair today.
"A rat ate my clips." She sobbed as she gestured towards the kitchen barstools. Just like she said, a heap of rats and mice were there. Fluid surrounded the corpses but I felt nothing. No shock, nausea or fear. Just apathy.
"It happens all the time dear. I'll get you a new set after I clean this mess up."
My words didn't seem to comfort her. She remained petrified on the couch.
-|-
The next morning, I awoke to an empty bed. I frantically scrutinized the apartment to no avail.
Ruina was never an early bird. Sure, she was strange but she was predictable. There was a trend in all her actions.
I burst out of the apartment and scourged the surrounding streets. An ear splitting wail erupted and I sprinted towards the direction of the voice.
There she was, curled into fetal position, on the muddy pavement. She had skinned her palms and knees and a motionless cat laid by her feet.
"I jumped off the balcony." She explained. "I wasn't feeling well. And then this cat followed me. I don't know what to do."
Everything she said after that made no sense. I took her into my embrace and ran my fingers through her hair. She buried her head within the crook of my neck and we stayed there until it was time for me to get ready for work.
-|-
"Follow me onto the balcony!" Ruina goaded me as she grabbed me by the wrist. She beckoned for me to sit on the shabby straw chair we haggled at a local garage sale.
It was very cramped. There was only room for that one chair and a small metal stool. Ruina claimed the stool and perched atop it on the balls of her feet. At this point, I stopped questioning all her strange antics.
"Are you familiar with Thanatos?" She asked me.
"Isn't that the God of Death in Greek Mythology?"
She flashed me a thumbs up and grinned. "You're right! But what most people forget about are his servants."
"Thanatos summons grim reapers to help him do his bidding. They lure the most stubborn souls to their death and guide them into the afterlife." She explained.
"How?"
"They take on the form of their most beloved. The bakers you used to adore saw their long lost daughter before they died. But they didn't know it was just a reaper wearing her skin. She got bored and killed them with her bare hands." Ruina chirped. "And the dog thought he saw his old master at the motel before the breath of death suffocated him."
"I don't have to spell it out for you, do I?" She continued.
"No. You're my reaper of death."
I had finally accepted my fate.
"Come and take my hand and stay right by my side." I pleaded with my last breath. She looked at me blankly as she snaked her fingers into mine.
I was a fleeting change in her cyclic routine. Within the next second, Ruina would've found her next target and forgotten about me.
Even though I was falling downwards, I felt as if I was stunted midair. Black began to seep through my peripherals and seething coldness overtook my body.
I had become one of her deceased butterflies at last.
-|-
"Hi there!"
The boy was a pretty good vessel. Despite being very thin, he was quite lean and easy on the eyes. It made Ruina's job a lot easier.
"Who are you?" The college student grumbled.
"Ah, nobody important. I was just wondering if this was yours."
The reaper procured a butterfly amulet from his palm. It was bright green and hung off a fragile silver chain.
"No, it's not." The girl sighed as she began to walk away.
"Wait!" The reaper called out. "It was mine. I just wanted to know if you wanted it."
The student cast him a quizzical glance and reluctantly took the pendant in her hand.
"I hope we see each other soon!" The reaper chirped.
"We won't." The girl responded curtly as she jogged away.
"Don't worry, we will." The reaper giggled to themself.
-|-
Author's Notes
-> Inspired by Yoru ni Kakeru by Yoasobi
-> Weird retelling of Thanato's seduction
-> Sleep deprivation fueled writing