Your ghost never left me and I never put the bottle down. I can't unsee you. Why can't I get rid of the thought it you. I'm drunk and alone and afraid. Only I'm not alone. Not really. I drown in a sea of people every day. But of all the people in the world I only want you. Yet I see you everywhere I look and it haunts me in the worse way. I can't be happy. Not truly. But I no longer feel sadness. I just feel empty. I just feel nothing. I try to submerge myself in work. I try to do as many files for as many residents as possible. I try to feel joy as I help people get off the streets and into an apartment. But I feel nothing. I feel no joy or relief or pride in what I do. I drown my sorrows in bourbon and try to forget you ever existed. Only I can't. I'm cursed with a terrible memory. I forget so many things. Yet you won't leave my mind. I try to be a pretty poetic person. But something about you always leaves me rambling.