You already know

I'd trade my whole life

You already know

I'd give it all up

You already know

This is all for you

You already know

I have nothing left

You already know

I LOVE YOU

When I'm found laying in my bed

Or when a bullet hits my head

When sorrow drowns my heart

Or when the madness tears me apart

When the alcohol does me over

Or when I can't really stay sober

When I pick the perfect time to fly

Or it's just mt rime so say goodbye

Promise me that you'll sing my songs

And get the world to sing along

At my office drinking my ice cold coffee. Someone told me the world was ending. I don't really know the difference. People hate what they hate and love what they love but what are they indifferent about. For me it's almost all of it except her. I pray to someone who I doubt listens and the only thing I get back is memories of times that I try to escape. I hug my father as his fists are red with my blood. I watch my idol be rolled out of his house on a stretcher covered with a blanket. I lay there in an upside down car wondering what's going on. All memories I try to escape. They keep coming back to me. My life is a book that was written by multiple authors. I try so hard to take the pen and dictate the story. I need to go back to work. But I can't. I want to lose myself in words. I love her. But the being that I don't believe in doesn't seem to believe in us. I drink my ice coffee wanting to be in a coffee shop with her. Listening to some guys pretentious acoustic music. Planning a life together. We could just be young and insane and immature forever. Poetry is just the voices in my head being written down.

He was just seventeen or eighteen

It was the first time he ever had gotten drunk

He needed to escape

He needed to free himself

He was this party that had gotten way out of hand

It was a friends' house

He drank and smoked more than he should have

He was on the floor vomiting and seizing

The life was leaving his eyes

He hoped no one saved him

Your ghost never left me and I never put the bottle down. I can't unsee you. Why can't I get rid of the thought it you. I'm drunk and alone and afraid. Only I'm not alone. Not really. I drown in a sea of people every day. But of all the people in the world I only want you. Yet I see you everywhere I look and it haunts me in the worse way. I can't be happy. Not truly. But I no longer feel sadness. I just feel empty. I just feel nothing. I try to submerge myself in work. I try to do as many files for as many residents as possible. I try to feel joy as I help people get off the streets and into an apartment. But I feel nothing. I feel no joy or relief or pride in what I do. I drown my sorrows in bourbon and try to forget you ever existed. Only I can't. I'm cursed with a terrible memory. I forget so many things. Yet you won't leave my mind. I try to be a pretty poetic person. But something about you always leaves me rambling.