Covens rejection of Mr. Perkerson

Dr. Mr. Pergerson or Perkerson,

We the comity of the Coven of all Covens of Witches of the Northern Star of the Fifth Church of the Seventh University after the Christ regret to inform you that we have decided not to move forward with your application. Our experience of you has given us the idea that you do not have magic... or maybe you do have magic but we are looking for people who have Magick with a K. You failed many of our test like the levitation of the ball through the hoop, the spin around but without spinning around trick, the turn a dog into a pig trick, heck you couldn't even sharpen a pencil with paper. We understand that you really wanted to join our University but we can not risk the other students falling into mediocrity and we also don't want you to feel pressured to be something you are not. Please don't be insulted but because of your interest in magick maybe it would benefit you to apply to these following magic schools as they just may help you find your inner spark... if there is one. Hogwarters where the principal Harris Pottinger takes interest in anyone who has that inner spark and also Babies for Magic school of Magic may also accept your application as they focus on basic magic. We at Coven of all Covens of Witches of the Northern Star of the Fifth Church of the Seventh University after the Christ do high magic like causing tsunamis in lands of corruption or turning bad people into frogs and then sending them to the homes of the people they have hurt in their lives to serve justice, assuming that that person likes frogs or not. We have no time to train such others who can't even sharpen a pencil with paper which is one of the oldest books in the tricks, or tricks in the brick or well you get what I mean. Thank you for your application that is all.

P.S. Your feet smell funny sometimes through your shoes and maybe it would help if you learned the magic of washing between your toes once to twice a day would be a great place to start.