Hide and Seek

"Are you playing hide and seek?"

The humanoid figure hiding in the shadows jumped, then turned to face the little girl in her pink dress. "No."

"Can I play?"

"No. Go away, kid."

"Why?"

"I'm busy."

"You don't look busy. You look like you're hiding in a corner."

"I'm not. My foot is stuck."

"Do you want help? I can go get--"

"No!" The mysterious figure nearly pops out of hiding, lunging towards the child, before they catch themself.

The girl's eyes glazed over, and her lower lip began to tremble. Very quietly, she said "Oh."

"Sorry," the figure said gruffly, retreating back into their corner.

She sniffles.

The stranger visibly softened. "You were right. I am hiding."

The girl's transformation was immediate. "Why? For how long? From who?"

"From whom."

"What?"

"Proper grammar. You should say from whom."

"You didn't answer my question," said the little girl petulantly. She very nearly stomped her foot on the ground, then remembered that only babies have temper tantrums. She settled for a seething glare, directed at the hazy figure in the shadows.

"I haven't had time to answer your torrential downpour of questions. Psst--" Hearing someone's approach, the little girl ducked into the same small alcove as the unidentified stranger. They let out a soft "oof" as the child's elbow catches their ribs, but otherwise remain perfectly still.

A woman's strident voice slowly grew loud enough for the hidden pair to catch identifiable words. "So then I told him, 'She's no good for you!' "

"Is that right?" a second voice replied.

"Mmhm. I looked him straight in the eye, and I told him--"

The other woman gasped. "You didn't."

The first voice cackled gaily. "I did! I told him that his lazy, no-good, harlot of a wife didn't hold a candle to me."

The second woman nearly fell over in excitement. "What did he say?"

The little girl craned her neck to try and catch the last of the conversation, but they were already too far away to hear. "Are you hiding from them?"

"No. Would you move? You're crushing my-- ow! -- spleen. Thanks."

The little girl climbed out of their hiding spot, brushed herself off, then solemnly proclaimed: "You have a spider on your head." The figure uttered a muffled shriek, then flailed briefly, batting at the air. The little girl watched, giggling. "I lied. You're funny. Whom are you hiding from?"

The stranger brushed themself off, attempting to reassert their dignity. "Now it should be who."

"That doesn't make sense," the little girl whined.

"Neither does your persistence."

"You're mean. I'm gonna go tell my daddy about y--"

The figure stopped the child mid-sentence with a hand clamped over her mouth and a harsh whisper. "Wait! I'm sorry."

Muffled by the hand, the girl asked, "You are?"

"Yes. Please don't tell anyone, but I'm looking for someone."

"Who?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Nope. But I won't tell on you. I'm a good secret keeper. I haven't told anyone that Mummy likes the gardener, or that they..." The girl trailed off, perhaps realizing that she'd just negated her own point. The stranger, slightly better lit now that they were halfway in the hallway but still completely unremarkable, blinked twice in surprise before remembering their objective.

"Fine. I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone." The little girl nodded frantically. The stranger leans in close to the child, whispering loudly in her ear, "I'm looking for my pet frog."

The girl giggles. "I won't tell. What's his name?"

"His name is, um... Frog. Can you go outside to look for him?"

"Okay, but didn't you already look there?"

"He hops really quickly, and he likes the outdoors. Please? If you find him, then we can play hide and seek." The girl quite literally started vibrating with excitement at the prospect, entirely forgetting the improbability of finding a small pet frog in the middle of three acres of forest.

"Really?"

"Yes. But you have to find him in the next seven minutes, or the deal's off."

"Deal!"

When the last of the little girl's footsteps had pattered away into silence, the unremarkable stranger turned back to the wall, set a timer, and walked casually down the hall. They left through the front door with three minutes to spare, whistling a melancholy tune.