Pen to Paper 19

Why? I ask myself. Why do I always ruin everything by being depressed?, Why can't I just let me be and let myself do what wants to do?, Why do I need to make everyone I love angry with my stupidity, my drama?.

I don't mean to do that but it kinda is the only way I know to treat myself. I wanna stop being that negative person and change! Because now my life has a meaning and the people that are in it, are the greatest I could ask for. Stupid hormones and feelings! Why do we have to go through those?, Why can't we just be beautiful and happy without getting scared, without drama, without depress. How do I find my way to be great?!

Maybe if I let myself free and show more trust to that one special person who surely knows how to make me feel amazing. Thanks to him I had an amazing month of smiles and happiness. I guess sometimes, I suffer from sadness because I think that if I don't, something is not right! But I need to let go of that feeling and trust more in my happiness.

Finding answers while writing is WoW!