Maybe if there is a black hole somewhere in my mind I could name it NOTHING!

I could put inside all the times I got hurt by bullies,

the time I got lied about love,

the time I cried and still cry for him,

I could add the fake world I live,

So I name you NOTHING!

Because love,sadness,fake means nothing

Nothing without having a chain reaction.

I add my memories as little one,

Cause I feel nothing.

I add my failures,

The times I trusted people,

The time my heart broke more than once,

But mostly time,

Because of the word time,

Because all lasted like it was never there!

So now I name you NOTHING!

I never knew time could take all like it was nothing!

So now you are in the little black hole,

The one I call NOTHING!

I used to think with a depressive mind but I realized something through the years. Why do I have to be bad or feel bad about something or someone? Why to make myself nervous, have angry issues, be sad face etc.? I have my health, I live, I breath, I barely make it with money and try to help homeless people, I have a house, have a job and the only thing I need to keep up with my life is me, myself and I and my positivity of how I'm gonna treat every freaking bad step on my way. I can fight it and I'm not gonna let it get me! Time to catch the toxic air and all the bad days and turn them into good one and healthiest! :)

How hard and scary this life is?

Who to trust!

Who to lean on?

Now you are leaving too

Go ahead and kill me

Destroy me little by little

Vanish me from the map

Make me a sea

So the world can see

Bodies up on me

Submarine tour for you

A game by the big heads

Heartless and brutal

Nobody cares now

Who left?

Who I wonder

Answer is nowhere to be found

Oh but I see helicopters

Hopes on me

But here no one can see me

I can't scream

I can't move

My body turned pieces

People nowhere to be found

Oh I see a few

Eyes open looking at me

Oh how scary it is

How this little town is

Again with the noise

Balls hitting here and there

It is getting worse and worse

The ball fell on me

Walls destroyed

Family I was protecting I can not hear

Who am I protecting then?

Who is hear to safe them?

All I see is their eyes

Wide open, no move

Baby has closed eyes

How could a ball do this?

It's been hours and balls are here

Hitting us and killing us

Oh how I wish I could speak

But down they take me

They wanted us down

Under the ocean

To become the country out of the map

Something magic for you to see underwater

If you ever come to find me

Oh I will tell you all about it

How they vanished us

How I ended up underwater

Don't cry though

I know have a new home

My family knows

Bottom is my only hope!

Khloe Rose - Fictional

I believe people know the song because it is straight goes for the ones who love books, another universes, fictional characters and for the ones who got dirt and hurt by previous relationships.

When I heard it for the first time, I felt every single word,lyric, everything. Flashes of what happened in my life and then I just felt the truth!. The reason that got me so hard is that I got hurt so many times, the world in this life is too much for me to handle, so I get lost in another world, where I can be whoever I want, I can build my own life and my own things and people and for a few hours I feel alive and happy and good. Reality I live every day, but it scares me day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second and I am alone because I can handle my other (fictional) world better than this one!

The song reminds me that I am single because these days it's hard to fall in love and faster to give in, in a toxic relationship with the biggest fall down! So instead, I fall for my books characters, the ones who can't kill me, rape me, manipulate me, make me feel upset and bad, cry out loud etc..

Why can't you understand me? You know I don't want kids and stuff and yet you keep talking about it. I want to go out with you on dates and not staying at home, having sex, and then stare at my phone and give zero fucks about the other. That is not how it works, that is how friends work and we are so not friend you idiot.

It's been a fucking year and we still are full of arguements, zero happiness and a small chance of making it but for the love of angels LOOK! I don't believe that we are happy together. I made a lot of presents and you asked me a lot of times to give you money cause you were in need but starting to realise I was and still am a bank and you never appreciated my gifts unlike me.

Please pretty please try to understand me like I do for you! Try to see that it's both our faults and not ME! So toxic that it makes me rethink us!

But everything's wrong! We were wrong! I mean, look at us..we fight and fight and talk to others..'' she said with a sad voice cracking little by little.

Is this your way of telling me that you messed up? '' he continued with a mad face.

Me? I'm the one you blame? Honestly can you remember how we started a year ago? How you had time to come and visit me for a few minutes and suddenly there was no time for us? And don't get me started with the fact that you were always making me feel like I was the mistaken when obviously YOU were the one who was always kept pushing me away. ''she said now with a frustration and an anger that no one ever saw.

Ava was tired of the fighting and the yelling between them. Tom stayed for a while at peace, believing Ava would try again to think and realize she is wrong. But on a second thought he finally accepted that it was both.

Can you for a moment think how everything is between us? Like we are friends with benefits, friends who happen to have sex and flirt, or maybe just sex. We never talked, never cuddled, nearly never went out for a date the 2 of us. We never did something for us..You know we both are the problem. I don't know what made us keep something that was never meant. Tom...I own you an answer on how are we going to be from now on. ''she said with looking down the floor.

No Ava no. I know what you are going to say and honestly I don't wanna hear it. You can leave now. ''He said and he hugged her for a last time.

I wish you only the beautiful life you ever wanted and next time try to be more in your relationship and see what the other wants and not what you only want.

Yeah..you try to understand the other better.

Thank you for despite the bad, thank you for the amazing ones.Bye Tom

Yeah bye Ava.

The story you know

About a girl and a boy

A tree and a snake

A cheater and a death

Oh look at it babe

Similarities with this century

Giving the apple like a pro

What of an irony is all

Killing ourselves for a lover

Not respecting the feelings

But the snake in our brain

Screaming, bringing this mess

Are you even in love?

Cause once upon a time

The girl didn't love the boy

Oh look how it still works

Except that kind boy

Or was he not?

Was he ever cheated the girl

Back at the garden of Eden?

Or was he always a good man?

Oh honey one more similarity we got

Children of two toxic people

We became the very best version of them

Were it meant to be like that?

Are we ever gonna change the history?

Or are we in the garden of Eden?

Only if our timing was right

Then you could love me enough

Only if your words were by heart

I could trust you more

Only if I was brave enough

He would leave us be happy

Only if I had no issues

You could have more

Only if you had time

I could make it count

Only if we were truth

We wouldn't fight a lot

Only if our characters could fit

We would get to be real

Only if I had a brain

You wouldn't go on another rendezvous

Only if you were crazy for me

Oh wait that is only a wish

Only if I wasn't an overthinker

We could be better

Only if we weren't pretending

This whole thing could work.

Build another self

Made of broken pieces

Glass walls around me

You can never hurt me again

I'm a warrior

Words only make me stronger

Show me your pity

But save it for yourself

Mirrors the glass around me

Now I can see the other me

Depressed, crying non stop

How did I end up there?

A knife on the floor

Should I end me or face me?

Can't escape my fate

This cell of mine

See me smile like I'm ok

One look at my shade

She is dying slowly

Can you save it?

Why do I exist?

A burden for this prison I am

I don't like this anymore

Pretend something I'm not

Confused meanings of happy and sad

Why am I alive?

Why can't I die?

Desperate to break the wall

I don't like this anymore

Two sides of me out of control

Knife on the floor

And an armor on the wall

Two in the body of one

How of an irony is that?

Come out, come out

Time to face each other.

Last night I drunk for the last time

Tonight I am saying last goodbyes

Tomorrow I'm leaving

Please do not cry for me

Last night I partied with friends

Tonight I am going to sing for last time

Tomorrow I'll be on the screen

Please be happy for me

Last night I shared a romantic night

Tonight I'm having last date with boy x

Tomorrow I'll be crying

Please share my story

Last night I shared happy memories

Tonight I am writing letters

Tomorrow I'll be far away

Please remember me

Last night I got scared for first time

Tonight I am still scared

Tomorrow I'll be strong enough to fight

Please don't stop me now

For otherwise my sacrifice will be for nothing

I do it for the rights of the women across the world

So let me go and fight for the one's who died

The women who desperate needed to live and be heard

So now I'm leaving for another world war

If I'm not going to survive

And if you are all reading this

Know that I'm guarding you from up there

(a little inspiration of what is happening right now)