Dive to the unknown

Climb from one feeling to another

Somewhere in between

There you'll find it!

Be careful darling

This one is big and fragile

It can destroy you

But you can't break it.

This one combines all emotions

That way can become unstoppable

Stop it until it's to late!

But be careful darling

Once it's big and fragile

Can break your heart

It can push you away from me

Dearest caramel don't go!

Let the emotion exist

If you kill it, I'll die too

The unknown doesn't scare me

But it will harm you if you touch it

So get out of there

Let my emotion come out

I need you caramel in my life too.

I need you to be there to save me

But no dearest caramel,

You are too important for that.

Leave before everything comes out.

Let me be alone cause it's coming,

Dearest caramel,

Only thing I know

Is that this emotion will eat me

I don't know how or why or what

But I know it's strong enough to eat me

So dear caramel let me say

I LOVE YOU FOR ETERNITY

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU

I'LL BE GUARDING YOU!

Bye little caramel!

For what it's worth, I finally learnt that I am not the person I thought I was!

I care too much that I can drive you insane, I overthink and over analyze before I speak or do, I have doubts about almost everything even when it has to do with a relationship I literally can f*ck things up.

But I never meant to do anything. And then I start to lose the bond and little by little I leave, thinking that the other would be better without me. Oh angels I wish I was different but I am not! All these emotions and things are a part of who I am and I can not change them. Cause I know that I will always be like that.

After all, we all are unique and perfect the way we are and any change we decide to do it will only be because we want to. So to the guy I love and I am dating 5 months now, if you can't handle me and my awfully beautiful emotions then leave.

How far we've come?

Once again I failed

Mind out of control

Trust me no more!

Sadness because I lost you

Tired because we repeated us

Happy because I was in love

With smile because of you

Within seconds distance came

Only good mornings and good nights

Breaking up when it's tough

Doesn't work like that

Cried because you left

Dying was my only choice

Chemical of emotions

Colorful as a rainbow

Why waste my time?

We were few minutes right

When everything felt wrong

But I'll never forget US!

We'll go through a lot emotions

Call them chemical reactions

Like we're in a limbo

Till we find ourselves again.

Fate. What fate is? Especially when you are meeting that person?. Life brings to our lives the idea of falling for the perfect one or better it gives us the illusion that we are falling for the right one, when the truth is that falling for someone, it does not need to be the perfect one but the relation itself makes it look like the correct one. If this is how fate works, then my story is another boring romantic kind of drama movie that happened to be written. Because what is coming to this story, is a poetic life of Romeo and Juliet only in the 21st century and without the need to die. Dive into this world and see what happens or let it be another forgetful love story. Shall we begin?

Love is mixed feelings and has a different meaning for everyone out there. Love can be happiness, sad, a smile, a hug, someone else's way of taking care of you, the bad days, a laughter or even tiny little things.

I'm guessing movies only giving us a lesson of how a relationship of a couple that was meant to be or fate or how it feels like losing the other by giving it at it's best, that is actually so perfectly made up and so wrong at the same time. Movies gives us a feeling that we can't live in reality that is why is so wrong but so amazingly beautiful at the same time.

I believe that we are attracted to the toxic because in this generation people are addicted to toxic relations. Like we want to have fights, we are in need of feeling lonely or depressed, even causing scenes out of nowhere to feel good.

See if you look at the rose, you will be amazed by the color and the way it is made that when you will touch it you only then will realize the thorns where actually from the beginning there. People only see what they want to see, but sometimes what you are looking at isn't the one you need. You may feel like you are needy or you need to fix them but they are not in need of your help, and just like the rose needs to be thrown in the rubbish, you realize what a waste it was. The only bad thing is that you still stay there cause of the feelings and the love you grow for them.

What I'm trying to say is that we may fall for someone with a hard past which leads to a toxic relationship but it's up to you if you leave early or stay and make yourself depressed and used by someone you think it brings out the worst, even fights.

As he was reading my goodbye letter that he wrote for me, I felt peace running through my whole body as if it was a closure of all our memories and my own memories till this particular time. He held my hand and he kissed it with passion as if he knew that he was going to lose me within the night. I always felt our special bond but that? How would he know something like that was going to happen? I wondered as I looked into his brown beautiful eyes with a little smile on my face.

He then left the letter and took me in his arms. That hug I'm going to miss so damn much, his hands, his touch when I wasn't feeling good. My eyes were ready to cry but I couldn't do that, not in front of him, not when I'm trying to feel him for one last time before I close my eyes.

His hand came to my face and he moved it so I can face him. We stared for a few minuted at each other and I could tell that he now knew what was happening. His eyes were ready to go rainy but he covered it by giving me a kiss in my forehead, then my chicks and my lips. How different it felt this time, I asked myself.

- Babe are you okay? he asked me.

- I am amazing, my love and thank you for reading me the letter. << I said with a fake smile>>

- Yeah, no problem but my little princess why? << he asked and continued>> Why you wanted to do this so soon?

- Because my love I wanted to know and hear it. << I said and continued>> Because we do not know when our last is going to be and I wanted to do this a little earlier. << Said a little scared of what his reaction could be to my little lie>>

- Is there something that is going on?, Are you dying? << he asked me with a scary face and with a change of his breaths>>

- No, my love but if I ever die, I want you to know that I will still be here with you! << and continued trying to be calm>> Even if I die, I will protect you, I will guide you, I will be up there for anything you're going to need, because I love you always and forever my love. << I said as I was trying to keep my tears back.>>

Couple hours passed by and my body or better my soul started to abandon me little by little. I took his arms and went in for his warmest hug while he was sleeping. I closed my eyes and our moments went by within seconds while tears started to fall. I wasn't ready to leave but my body was telling me otherwise.

- My love, I hope one day you will forgive me for not telling you about my little cancer! You are my light, my guide, my protector, my best friend, my partner in crime, my boyfriend. My always and forever! You deserve happiness, so try and find it after a few years or now. Goodbye my love. Hail and farewell! << and so I closed my eyes and my soul left my body there laying into his arms, hoping that one day he will forgive me for not telling him. >>

Χαθηκες παλι

Μολις χθες ησουν στα ονειρα μου

Και σημερα δεν εμφανιστηκες

Στο καθιερομενο μας ραντεβου

Ηθελα τοσα πολλα να σου πω

Κυριως ομως να σε ξανα δω

Να θυμηθω το προσωπο σου

Που τοσο αισθητα λειπει

Με αφησες τοσο γρηγορα πισω

Και εμεινα μονη σε ετουτο το κοσμο

Πες μου λοιπον πως τα περνας εκει

Ειναι τοσο ομορφα, οσο το περιεγραφες καποτε

Ξερεις εγω απλα ηθελα να σου πω

Μου λειπεις παππου!

Χρειαζομαι εκεινη την αγκαλια

Που μονο εσυ ηξερες να δινεις τοσο σφιχτα

Ηθελα ετσι να μου κρατησεις συντροφια

Να αποκοιμηθω και να ερθεις να με σκεπασεις

Για να μην κρυωσω, θυμασαι?

Μα τωρα με ζεστενεις απο εκει πανω πια

Με συγχωρεις που δεν ημουν εκει,

Την ημερα που εγινε το ασχημο γεγονος?

Για αυτο δε εμφανιζεσαι πια?

Παππου συγνωμη!

Σε χρειαζομαι παππου!

Κατεβα πια απο εκει πανω

Και ελα να μιλησουμε

Χρειαζομαι να μου πεις οτι ολα ειναι καλα.

Εισαι χαρουμενος αραγε με οτι απεγινα?

Δεν ειμαι παρα ενας μπελας

Και εσυ παντα λατρευες τις τρελες μου

Γελουσες πολυ με τα αστεια μου.

Παππου τωρα πια εισαι αγγελος

Μπορεις να πεταξεις μεχρι κατω

Να ερθεις να με αγκαλιασεις

Με τα κατασπρα και ομορφα φτερα σου?

Μην απομακρυνεσαι σε παρακαλω

Παππου μην φευγεις!

Δεν μπορω να σε αποχαιρετισω

Μεινε διπλα μου, μην φευγεις

Παππου χαθηκες

Γιατι με αφησες παλι

Εξαφανιστηκες πριν προλαβω να σου πω

Ποσο ΣΑΓΑΠΩ!

Humans we call us

Coming to this life

Born to be something

Inside the piece of a paper

Old or new

You will read me there

Take a teddy bear

Sit on your bed

And start to read

You will find questions

Thoughts about everything

Moments and memories

All of those are mine

Just take a paper

Take your finest pen

And write down

Write your stories

The ones they make you

The paper is my body

The pen is my blood

The stories are my memories

The bad shape paper is my heart

Broken and in pieces

Can't be one so you throw it away

Books represent my play room

Crime or thriller

I enjoy them a lot

Romance is my cursed spot

Once you approach me

Things go down and we split

Human we call us

But I am no human

A monster I am in reality

You can heart me

Like you heart the paper

I will handle it

You can violent me

Like you do, to the paper

I will not give up

You can love me

Like you love a good book

I will give and I'll be broke in seconds

I live through books

Stories, poetry

And yet I am not human

I am a monster

So I destroy my life

I do not love like you do

I am a disaster

Trouble some call me

And I lie bunch of times

If that makes me no monster

Then human it is

But I can't be both

So I'm trapped as a monster

Inside of a human body

You may call me Monster Human

It was a dark and stormy night. I was sitting by the fire to warm my body while I was covered with a blanket and listened to my favorite music. Red glass of wine, as sweet as a chocolate bar can be and my thoughts that night was all I wanted but the tears couldn't let me enjoy any of that. It felt like I was cursed to feel sad my whole life and as much as I wanted, felt the need to scream, I didn't do it. Instead I cried my lungs out and hit my hands on the floor, as it almost seemed like I was cursing or something.

Tears now falling on the naked floor as I try to breath but it felt so hopeless. I raised my face and here I saw him, looking at me with a sad face, angry eyes and a thirsty mouth. But it was only in my imagination, he wasn't there, he would never be here with me, not anymore. No matter how much I needed him, he left to chase his own dream, his own life. And I know he left because I gave him the kiss goodbye but it didn't felt like a forever goodbye.

As crazy as I was, now I needed to stand up and go wash my face but I couldn't. It was like someone was holding me and making me stay there till I feel alright. Took my phone and I saw I had a new message but didn't feel like open it. I sat down there and I looked at the photos that I had with him. My favorite one was our first picture of our hands. The first also memory of date we created that day, the first kiss we gave, first sweet words, nicknames and the first hug. And only few hours ago, we had our last kiss, last date, last sweet talk, nicknames, and last hug I could ever give to a person that I still love and will always love with my whole body and soul and strength that left of me. Because from all those boys I met he was and will always be the one.

So hours went by and I got a call. It was his uncle, he told me that he landed safe and that his friend took him at his house and that he loves me much. I ended the call and cried again for hours.

In the mean time I finally opened the message and it was him. He texted me a last message saying how important I was in his life and that he loves me and as I continued listening to it, all of our memories passed by like a movie of seconds, all our moments and that was it. I now was on the floor, eyes closed and a body without soul. I now will be by his side, protecting and guiding him to this new life.

~ The end ~