As he was reading my goodbye letter that he wrote for me, I felt peace running through my whole body as if it was a closure of all our memories and my own memories till this particular time. He held my hand and he kissed it with passion as if he knew that he was going to lose me within the night. I always felt our special bond but that? How would he know something like that was going to happen? I wondered as I looked into his brown beautiful eyes with a little smile on my face.

He then left the letter and took me in his arms. That hug I'm going to miss so damn much, his hands, his touch when I wasn't feeling good. My eyes were ready to cry but I couldn't do that, not in front of him, not when I'm trying to feel him for one last time before I close my eyes.

His hand came to my face and he moved it so I can face him. We stared for a few minuted at each other and I could tell that he now knew what was happening. His eyes were ready to go rainy but he covered it by giving me a kiss in my forehead, then my chicks and my lips. How different it felt this time, I asked myself.

- Babe are you okay? he asked me.

- I am amazing, my love and thank you for reading me the letter. << I said with a fake smile>>

- Yeah, no problem but my little princess why? << he asked and continued>> Why you wanted to do this so soon?

- Because my love I wanted to know and hear it. << I said and continued>> Because we do not know when our last is going to be and I wanted to do this a little earlier. << Said a little scared of what his reaction could be to my little lie>>

- Is there something that is going on?, Are you dying? << he asked me with a scary face and with a change of his breaths>>

- No, my love but if I ever die, I want you to know that I will still be here with you! << and continued trying to be calm>> Even if I die, I will protect you, I will guide you, I will be up there for anything you're going to need, because I love you always and forever my love. << I said as I was trying to keep my tears back.>>

Couple hours passed by and my body or better my soul started to abandon me little by little. I took his arms and went in for his warmest hug while he was sleeping. I closed my eyes and our moments went by within seconds while tears started to fall. I wasn't ready to leave but my body was telling me otherwise.

- My love, I hope one day you will forgive me for not telling you about my little cancer! You are my light, my guide, my protector, my best friend, my partner in crime, my boyfriend. My always and forever! You deserve happiness, so try and find it after a few years or now. Goodbye my love. Hail and farewell! << and so I closed my eyes and my soul left my body there laying into his arms, hoping that one day he will forgive me for not telling him. >>

Χαθηκες παλι

Μολις χθες ησουν στα ονειρα μου

Και σημερα δεν εμφανιστηκες

Στο καθιερομενο μας ραντεβου

Ηθελα τοσα πολλα να σου πω

Κυριως ομως να σε ξανα δω

Να θυμηθω το προσωπο σου

Που τοσο αισθητα λειπει

Με αφησες τοσο γρηγορα πισω

Και εμεινα μονη σε ετουτο το κοσμο

Πες μου λοιπον πως τα περνας εκει

Ειναι τοσο ομορφα, οσο το περιεγραφες καποτε

Ξερεις εγω απλα ηθελα να σου πω

Μου λειπεις παππου!

Χρειαζομαι εκεινη την αγκαλια

Που μονο εσυ ηξερες να δινεις τοσο σφιχτα

Ηθελα ετσι να μου κρατησεις συντροφια

Να αποκοιμηθω και να ερθεις να με σκεπασεις

Για να μην κρυωσω, θυμασαι?

Μα τωρα με ζεστενεις απο εκει πανω πια

Με συγχωρεις που δεν ημουν εκει,

Την ημερα που εγινε το ασχημο γεγονος?

Για αυτο δε εμφανιζεσαι πια?

Παππου συγνωμη!

Σε χρειαζομαι παππου!

Κατεβα πια απο εκει πανω

Και ελα να μιλησουμε

Χρειαζομαι να μου πεις οτι ολα ειναι καλα.

Εισαι χαρουμενος αραγε με οτι απεγινα?

Δεν ειμαι παρα ενας μπελας

Και εσυ παντα λατρευες τις τρελες μου

Γελουσες πολυ με τα αστεια μου.

Παππου τωρα πια εισαι αγγελος

Μπορεις να πεταξεις μεχρι κατω

Να ερθεις να με αγκαλιασεις

Με τα κατασπρα και ομορφα φτερα σου?

Μην απομακρυνεσαι σε παρακαλω

Παππου μην φευγεις!

Δεν μπορω να σε αποχαιρετισω

Μεινε διπλα μου, μην φευγεις

Παππου χαθηκες

Γιατι με αφησες παλι

Εξαφανιστηκες πριν προλαβω να σου πω

Ποσο ΣΑΓΑΠΩ!

Humans we call us

Coming to this life

Born to be something

Inside the piece of a paper

Old or new

You will read me there

Take a teddy bear

Sit on your bed

And start to read

You will find questions

Thoughts about everything

Moments and memories

All of those are mine

Just take a paper

Take your finest pen

And write down

Write your stories

The ones they make you

The paper is my body

The pen is my blood

The stories are my memories

The bad shape paper is my heart

Broken and in pieces

Can't be one so you throw it away

Books represent my play room

Crime or thriller

I enjoy them a lot

Romance is my cursed spot

Once you approach me

Things go down and we split

Human we call us

But I am no human

A monster I am in reality

You can heart me

Like you heart the paper

I will handle it

You can violent me

Like you do, to the paper

I will not give up

You can love me

Like you love a good book

I will give and I'll be broke in seconds

I live through books

Stories, poetry

And yet I am not human

I am a monster

So I destroy my life

I do not love like you do

I am a disaster

Trouble some call me

And I lie bunch of times

If that makes me no monster

Then human it is

But I can't be both

So I'm trapped as a monster

Inside of a human body

You may call me Monster Human

It was a dark and stormy night. I was sitting by the fire to warm my body while I was covered with a blanket and listened to my favorite music. Red glass of wine, as sweet as a chocolate bar can be and my thoughts that night was all I wanted but the tears couldn't let me enjoy any of that. It felt like I was cursed to feel sad my whole life and as much as I wanted, felt the need to scream, I didn't do it. Instead I cried my lungs out and hit my hands on the floor, as it almost seemed like I was cursing or something.

Tears now falling on the naked floor as I try to breath but it felt so hopeless. I raised my face and here I saw him, looking at me with a sad face, angry eyes and a thirsty mouth. But it was only in my imagination, he wasn't there, he would never be here with me, not anymore. No matter how much I needed him, he left to chase his own dream, his own life. And I know he left because I gave him the kiss goodbye but it didn't felt like a forever goodbye.

As crazy as I was, now I needed to stand up and go wash my face but I couldn't. It was like someone was holding me and making me stay there till I feel alright. Took my phone and I saw I had a new message but didn't feel like open it. I sat down there and I looked at the photos that I had with him. My favorite one was our first picture of our hands. The first also memory of date we created that day, the first kiss we gave, first sweet words, nicknames and the first hug. And only few hours ago, we had our last kiss, last date, last sweet talk, nicknames, and last hug I could ever give to a person that I still love and will always love with my whole body and soul and strength that left of me. Because from all those boys I met he was and will always be the one.

So hours went by and I got a call. It was his uncle, he told me that he landed safe and that his friend took him at his house and that he loves me much. I ended the call and cried again for hours.

In the mean time I finally opened the message and it was him. He texted me a last message saying how important I was in his life and that he loves me and as I continued listening to it, all of our memories passed by like a movie of seconds, all our moments and that was it. I now was on the floor, eyes closed and a body without soul. I now will be by his side, protecting and guiding him to this new life.

~ The end ~

Imagine a different life,

Where love is free

And everybody gets their own forever

And a happily ever after

Like fairy tales

Where once parents used to read us

To make us feel happy rather than sad

So that we can sleep and dream our own world

I wonder if we all are a fairy tale book

Written in old dusty papers and forgotten

Till someone remember us

To clean us from our misery

To open that paper book that is called heart

And with every turn of a heart beat

Watching every single broken side of the story

Just like the puzzle, where the pieces are becoming one and the image is complete.

And with a magical way

You can invade to the following chapter

And maybe, just maybe our hearts will confuse this

So that can become one flaming heart instead of a separate chaos.

But if our alternation of course

Will suddenly come to our way

And detune us for a little

We will see each other again to that unprecedented place.

Just tell me how you want it to be made

A world full of life and happiness?

Or a world with a beautiful and a hard fortune?

After all it will be a new place where we will call it EARTH.

Our moments and memories

Will originate by us

And as for how it will evolve

It will be up to us and our feelings

Besides I speak about love

And it knows to give

To both fairy tales

And real life

Just let yourself be free

So that I can travel

To that one unique place "our forever"

The one we call love and eros.

"Hey babe"

"Hi my love"

"How are you?"

"Fine! and you?"

"Yeah I'm good"

"Cool."

"Yeah"

"So I have to go cause I work. Talk to you later"

"Sure have a good work. And eat something please"

"Yes my baby girl. You too"

So I liked his last message and left our conversation there. He was on and off from time to time and I could tell that something was off. A lot of things crossed my mind while I was in my bed with no smile, no mood at all. I know him way too good and the way he responds it is not him.

So the day went by real slow, I started writing a story of mine on my page while I was waiting a text or a phone call by him but nothing. I was ready to log out from my instagram account when I saw a message and it was him.

"Hey I just finished work and I am going home. I will eat something and then I will sleep so have a good night and we will talk tomorrow. I love you" with a red heart on the side.

"Oh uhm okay. Have a good night and I will talk to you tomorrow. Me too" I wrote with a black heart on the side.

So I can't believe that he is not letting me help him or at least tell me what is bothering him. Suddenly he left me out and I know he is not okay since that phone call and the situation that ex of mine put us. He wants to destroy what I have and I need to be strong enough to throw the negativity away.

So sad from all this I just left my phone and went to sleep or cry till I feel alright, till he comes back to me.

Watch the birds

Drinking salt sea water

While the wave is approaching

Look how happy it is

It is that time of the year

Summer time

People surfing to the magical waves

Doing tricks while everyone cheers

You are in the water

Trying to chill by the sound

Swimming, diving, throwing water to friends

Inside the small and strong waves of the sea

In the nights couples sitting in the sand

The sound of the calm waves they hear

Sitting, kissing, eating

In the waves of the night sea

Before they leave

Watch the waves before they leave

Let them take you in a calm journey

To the land of the quite and happy sea waves.

A circle you are

A ball we throw

A lonely place

You have a lot now

But remember when you were born?

You were just a space

You got the name Earth

But you had nothing

Only a few lines

Empty Earth you were

You were going around and around

You now have seas and trees

You still are empty

Nothing to give life

Round and round you go

Empty Earth you were

Now you have human beings

Moving inside you

But oh how empty you are

Nobody sees you

Little Earth of ours

You running in circles

We keep throwing you like a ball

We still can't see you

Empty Earth you still are

Came to give happiness

But sadness is what you take

Polluted seas and cut trees

Bombs and wars

New lines and destrotion

Empty Earth of ours

You are now invisible

Thrown to a big hole

Losing someone it takes time to heal. But you have memories, you have pictures and cool presents by him/her. Week by week you will stop crying, you will realize that life goes on but you know you will never forget him/her because you have things to remember and that is all you need.

If you feel like everything's falling apart then talk to him/her. Yes it is a crazy thing to do but if it makes you feel better then talk to the air, believe or pretend he/she is right next to you and say how is your life or day or week.

Try to write a letter for 365 days. A whole year write him/her letters and let yourself to express how it feels and other things. It helps a little bit and it stays forever with you and you can do it for as long as you feel like want to do it.

Go for a walk, talk to your closest friends and the ones you most trust, go out with them, try to achieve every little promise you gave to the person you lost and look up into the sky and say "hey I did it" and "I hope you are proud about me".

After a while things will come back and your routine will be the same. It will take time but remember that he/she is up there protecting you and making you decide or choose right or help you with any problem. Also he/she will be forever in your heart.