to my friend,

In my 24 years of life... this has to be the worst pain I have ever felt. And by now, I know that I will never miss you any less, or ever be okay with the fact that you're gone. But I also know now that this relentless pain I feel is just love that no longer has a place to go.

And although I would never wish this feeling upon anyone, I would never take back the time we spent together, my dear friend. I will always be grateful that I had the chance to feel known, seen and understood by you, the chance to not just be your friend but maybe even your family, if only for a short time.

I can only rationalize this endless mourning by understanding what I lost. The kind of friendship that comes once in a lifetime. The kind of person that eased the dread of existing. The piece of me that lived in you.

And as for the piece of you that will always live in me, I will hold on to it with everything I have, no matter how painful, because above all I am better for knowing you, and I will never allow losing you to take that away from me.

Sending my love through time and space, hoping it meets you somewhere in oblivion.

Forever your roommate,