Mission At The Clown Hotel

"A clown hotel? Seriously Vance? That's the crazy new place you want to visit?"

"Why not, I think it's a perfect job for us Tanya!" Vance said defensively. "It's a huge hotel full of weird clown memorabilia, and apparently they have a killer clown problem. I figured you would love to slaughter a monster like that!"

"I have never liked clowns, so getting paid to destroy one does sound tempting." Tanya replied thoughtfully. "But isn't there already a place like this in Tonopah, Nevada?"

"Yeah, The Clown Motel!" Vance said excitedly. "Apparently this place is even bigger, an eight story hotel that has all the bells and whistles complimenting its clown obsession. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it, it's really grown in popularity."

"Well, a murderous clown on the loose will likely cause a hit in their business. Serves them right for ripping off the place in Nevada."

"Actually, their reservations have increased since the killings began." Vance responded. "People are buzzing over staying in a nice hotel where they feel like their life is in danger."

"People are so stupid." Tanya lamented. "They deserve what they're signing up for. But then again, if the management wants this clown killer taken care of, I suppose they do actually care about their dumbass guests. Is the pay for the job worth the trouble?"

"Oh yeah." Vance grinned sheepishly. "We would be sitting pretty for a good few months."

"Fine." Tanya conceded. "I'll kill the damn clown."

*****

Tanya and Vance stepped into the expansive lobby of The Clown Hotel resort. Tanya observed four leather couches, a welcoming fireplace, a shelf filled with books, a popcorn machine full of with complimentary caramel corn, and in the distance a buffet area serving all foods imaginable. All throughout clown memorabilia was present, including life size clown dolls.

"Welcome, and thank you for coming to help us." An elderly gentleman said as he approached the pair. "I'm Blair Daniels, the current owner of this hotel."

"I'm Tanya Balencia, and this is my partner Vance Rogues. We understand you have a killer clown that is causing trouble in your resort?"

"Yes, I wish for this monster to be disposed of for the protection of our visitors. Per our security footage, the clown was last seen on the sixth floor. For your assistance in this matter, I would like to offer the two of you a complimentary stay in our luxury jacuzzi suite, along with the agreed payment once the creature has been disposed of."

"That would be great!" Tanya gushed as Mr. Daniels handed her the room key. "Go ahead and get the jacuzzi set up for me Vance. I'll have this clown annihilated before the tub is full."

"Hey, I'm your partner, not your servant!" Vance protested as Tanya ran to the stairs, ignoring him. While she ascended she waved her hand over herself, switching her casual clothes to her hooded cloak and full body armor, including spiked wrist and ankle bands. Before she knew it she was on the sixth floor, and she opened the door and began her search.

The hallway was well maintained and all the room doors looked inviting, even if the clown decals decorating them were a bit creepy. Every few feet Tanya observed more life size clown dolls. Although she found them weird, none of the dolls looked intentionally scary. Except for one at the end of the hallway with bright red glowing eyes.

Tanya waved her finger and a crystal ball appeared in front of her. Within the crystal ball Vance looked at his ally.

"I hope that jacuzzi is ready for me Vance, because I think I found our clown. He didn't really make much effort to hide himself.... he doesn't strike me as the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm gonna have a little fun with him before I destroy him, then I'll grab our payment and be lounging in the hot tub within the next 15 minutes."

"Please don't be reckless." Vance protested. "We may be on a roll lately, especially after our recent high profile time traveling job. But we don't know enough about this clown to underestimate him."

"Trust me, he's toast." Tanya laughed as she made the crystal ball vanish. "All right stupid, I can tell you're my target! Face me and show me what you can do!"

The red eyed clown laughed and stood up, showing Tanya three metal balls. He began juggling them, following up by throwing each metal ball at Tanya. As the balls flew at her, razor shaped spikes popped out of the balls.

"How simple minded." Tanya chuckled as she dodged each projectile. "Hope you can do better than that!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" The clown laughed as he stuck his middle finger up at Tanya. His finger grew into a sword, and he charged at her with his finger sword swinging. Tanya made her staff appear in her hand by thought, and struck the clown on his wrist as he came closer. She then pointed at his finger sword and sent an icy blast out of her finger, encasing the sword in a block of ice. The clown stumbled forward as the ice weighed him down. Tanya then struck the ice block with her staff, shattering both ice and sword.

"Ha ha ha ha!" The clown laughed, standing up straight once again.

"Is that all you can say?" Tanya asked mockingly. "It's hard to believe that a joke like you could cause so much trouble for this hotel. Guess that doesn't say much for the clientele here. Anyway, let's wrap this up. You are a very boring clown, and there's a jacuzzi calling out to me!"

Tanya pointed at the clown, and a stream of orange acid shot from her finger onto the clown.

"Eyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" The clown screamed as his body melted into a grey pile of goo.

"So you can make another sound besides that obnoxious laugh, how delightful!" Tanya cheered. "Too bad for you that your days in the clown business are over!"

The goo began laughing before projecting itself onto Tanya.

"Hey, get off of me you disgusting bastard!" Tanya screamed as the goo enveloped itself around her. The goo continued cackling as it absorbed its latest victim completely....

*****

Once Tanya was self aware, she found herself walking into a circus. Her Mom and Dad stood on either side of her, each holding one of her hands. Everything at the circus seemed larger than life, including her parents as she looked up at them.

What's going on, did that clown shrink me or something? How am I at a circus now? And how are my parents alive again?

"Mommy, Daddy, why aren't we at the hotel anymore? And where is Vance?"

"Tanya honey, your imagination is running wild again!" Tanya's mother laughed. "We just came from home, and you don't even know a Vance."

"Let's go visit the concessions sweetie, you can get whatever you'd like!" Tanya's Dad said happily.

This must be a memory from my childhood that I pushed in the back of my mind, long forgotten after everything that happened to us! Or did I get sent back in time again, to start over? Well if that's the case, I'm staying here! After all, I think this is the last time I was ever truly happy!

"Tanya, can you hear me?" Vance's voice cried out. "Hang on, don't turn into a clown!"

The scene before her disappeared, and Tanya found herself back in the hallway of the hotel again. She was back in her grown up body again, although half of her body looked like one of the clown dolls she had seen throughout the hotel. Vance held his hand over her, emitting a blue glow from it. Tanya watched as the artificial clown features of her body reverted back to her true form once again.

"Tanya, are you ok? That was a close call!"

"Vance, what happened? Where's the goo that I turned that clown into?"

"Apparently the clown was as good as dead, but for his grand finale he was about to transform you into one of those creepy dolls they have decorating this place. It's a good thing that I got here when I did, otherwise you would have been no better than these other poor souls that are part of the decor."

"So all of these dolls.... were actually people?"

"Not were.... are. I used my magic and found out that these dolls are actually alive. The people that they are made up of are trapped in endless looping memories. Unfortunately if I tamper with these fully formed dolls, the people trapped within will die. I learned that one the hard way."

"Vance.... I saw them again.... my parents."

"Yeah.... it seems like the clown at least picked happy memories for his victims. Hope you don't mind me bringing you back from the last time you were likely happy in your life."

"Not at all. I want to live in my real life, not in a long gone memory. Even if that past life was much better, I prefer reality any day."

"I figured you'd feel that way." Vance smiled. "Well, maybe the jacuzzi will give you some happiness too. But first, we need to get our payment from Mr. Daniels, and press him for information on where he got these dolls from."

*****

"Thank you for ending the terror that the clown unleashed here." Mr. Daniels said gratefully as he wired the payment to Vance and Tanya's account. "Feel free to stay in the suite. and enjoy our other amenities as long as you wish."

"Thank you sir." Vance replied with a smile. "There is one more thing we need to know. Can you tell us where you got the life size clown dolls from?"

"Oh, I have an Amazon contact that has been selling me them. His name is ClownFanBoy5412, but that's all I know about him. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's just that we're clown enthusiasts too. I may buy some products from him in the future as well. Thank you again for your kindness Mr. Daniels."

As the pair walked away, Tanya asked Vance a question once they were out of earshot from Mr. Daniels.

"So that's it? We're leaving the dolls be?"

"I'll keep an eye on the Amazon account in question. If there is no further activity, then I think we can assume that the clown is truly gone and won't be turning anyone else into a doll. Mr. Daniels seems like a kind soul, and I don't want to traumatize him by telling him that his decorations are actually alive. However, I will steal a couple of them before we leave, and try to find a way to reverse their transformations when we are between missions. Does that work for you Tanya?"

"Fine by me. We got paid, and I'm about to enjoy a nice soak. I have no complaints here."

"That was how I figured you'd react. Very well."

As the pair disappeared from Mr. Daniels sight, he smiled and looked over the lobby of his resort thoughtfully.

"Well ClownFanBoy5412, it seems like you won't have any more products for me. Oh well, it was a good run my boy...."