Yield

I remember it as though it were yesterday, yet it feels as though it happened a lifetime ago. It was the lowest and darkest point in my life.

It was June 14, 2020, and I was sitting at home alone watching an online church service in the kitchen. (Which was the last thing I wanted to be doing) I had struggled with my depression for years at this point, and by now it was something I'd accepted as part of who I was and would always be. Calling me miserable was an understatement. I'd genuinely forgotten what happiness was, what it felt like to give someone an unpracticed smile. The girl I used to be was gone.

Towards the end of the service, the minister said something. Just one word that caught my attention like a blazing beacon. (Don't ask me why. It's not something I can explain, but it just happened)

The man said, "Yield."

(This is the weird part; whether you believe this actually happened is up to you) It was like a literal tidal wave of joy, peace, and light washed through me all at once. It was so overpowering I started sobbing and praying to God.

Since that night I've never been the same. God had been, and still is, kind to me. Without Him I'd likely be dead.