On the absence of brownies.

brownies could exist, if the sensory experience of them is not illusory or false. the smell of the chocolate, the steam rising from the moist pores, and of course the taste exist as long as any other sensation, or a memory of a sensation is real.

but if this is so, how could it be that brownies are not at this very moment sitting upon my desk, briefly awaiting my indulgence. it is certain, that if they existed and if they were sitting upon my desk, they would soon be devoured. certainly i have many fond recollections of eating a brownie. yet it is not present either in my mouth, or upon a saucer in front of me.

i could argue, the the existence of a brownie, specifically upon my desk, is contingent on either the acquisition of the ingredients and the preparation of them OR they are to be bought in a bakery, who's staff is accomplished in the fine art of confection-making at large and brownie preparation in particular. if we follow the argument, the absence of the brownie is a direct result of my inability to aquire or prepare such a confection. this possibility is unlikely. bakeries, staffed with talented, duty-bound artists are plentiful and so is the relative abundance of the ingredients. to learn how to make a brownie, one need only search the internet or follow a path of trial and error, to produce such a cake. it is therefore not scarcity the witholds the sweet delight of brownies from my grasp.

could it be, then a question of self-denial or restraint? am i sufficiently adept at delaying my gratification or prioritising or managing my desires and sordid impulses? would i be able to actually hold my motivation to such a degree that brownies could be safely placed in my proximity, without calamitous results? this if course is not a possibility in the least. it is safe to say, that whatever the size of a serving of brownies, be it insurmountablly huge or unreasonably small, all will be devoured. my bloated thorax shall explode, and yet the head shall still relentlessly gorge itslef. indeed one coukd say that the biological expedincy of brownies is no match to the outright mortal threat they pose. not dietery concerns, social repercussions nor pecuniary limits would conceivably serve as sufficient hindrence to overconsumption.

we could follow Occam's razor, down its sharp point, and come to the simple answer that a man coukd be in one of to existential states: in the process of in eating a brownie OR having finished the brownie and awaiting more , though the anticipation may be a discomfort. if i am not eating a brownie momentarily it is a result of the fact that i have depleted all of it.

either of these latter possibilities depend on the surity that brownies exist. if brownies existed all arguments would be about self control, the absence of it, or the material considerations that may lead to the consumption of brownies or to their absence.

however the possibility that brownies exist is not apriori establishable. their perseption through senses, their measurement through emperical devices, could all be a solipsistic trap. indeed their absence is all but assured, when one considers their being on a cosmological scale or a subatomic one. the possible interaction between objects such as the brownie and the eater, or between the fats, sugars, and proteins it cobtains is distinguished only within a very limited scope, which in itself (being the organisns that try to appreciate brownies) is arguably non-existant. the question in that case would not be "why am i not eating a brownie?" but rather "am i a distinguishable enough object from the background, to exist?" or "what is barrier between me and not-me?" OR "could it be that i am a brownie?" none of these questions are answerable. no solution given is absolute. and the fears of reality which they stirr is irreconcilable in the long run.

here, finally, within this existential limitation and distress, a need arises for confort. for a reduction in pain, for a balm to salve the aching heart. if brownies existed, they surely would have been employed in great quantities and bottomless despair.

and yet, there is no brownie.