the old ‘key or neighbor’ bit..
Fellow Theprosedotcomniks! greetings form the other side of the planet!! It is not for naught that i am posting this challenge. I have recently met with two events in my life and i am struggling to decide which one stands more prominently in shaping my current existence, or will have greater bearing on the future.
The one, is the tragic loss of a key. I used to carry this tiny, rusty key. It used to open a lock in a desk drawer. The desk was ceremonially locked before i left the office for all eternity(i hope). it was a bad place for the desk to be in, and i can’t imagine that it took long for the drawer to be opened again. Then again, the employers seemed to be as caring to things around them as a tape worm is to sunlight, so it could be that thecdesk is still locked and the contents therein may still be trapped, its only been four years...in any case, The key was taken and never returned. It served me ever since, as a ready tool, its slightly jagged edge was very beneficial in cutting through masking tape of packages and opening of instant coffee cans. Long have i cherished this tiny key , through adversity and prosperity and now, it is gone. I suspect that the cheap plastic holder withwhich it was attached to the key ring had worn out and finally broke. Or perhaps it was taken by some greedy urchin. I know not the reason. Whatever it may be, i am tragically bereft of that marvelous instrument, which has also served me as a reminder to never work in training centers, no matter the temptation or the assurances given..
What shall i do now? How will i open taped up boxes now?!
Will i need to use scissors? Or a box cutter? A BOX CUTTER?!?!
What will i do when faced with the problem of needing to open a package far away from any convenience such as office stationary?
It was so useful!! I could use it to peel a pomelo , or lift that tab on a soda can. I even used it at times to unscrew a battery lid for my girl's toys...
I really don’t know where i can go from here.
The other event, happened today.
My top floor neighbors are terrible human beings. Perhaps here lieth the problem; i assume that they are sentient organisms. It could be that their less than that, despite looking like humans. I am aware of that this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, yet i try at least to act like homo sapiens. These neighbors present all kinds of difficulties for me and my family, and we have a running feud with them. Blood has not been shed but it might come to this one of these days. Litigation is more likely. They seem to be unconcerned with the fact that there is a noise problem, and that there are rules about when you may or may not make noise, along with the normative aspect of being considerate to people around you. Recently it has become intolerable and we had to call the police on them. Notes were taken , but no real change was made. Noise , it seems , is very difficult to enforce...
Today, i was sitting with my girl, we try to shield her from the insanity of this planet, at least for now. But i had a headache. I'm doing online classes, for the kids. there is yet another covid lockdown and it's hard on my dorsal ganglia. We got a pair of windup plastic toys a rabbit and a (green!!) dog. Both can hammer on a tiny drum, if you wind the key. It was a two-for-one thing. I tried desperately to get my girl to eat her breakie. So i began telling her a tale. See if you can spot the subtle the analogy.
“one morning” i began “Mrs. Rabbit was walking in the forest, she was looking for some carrots. It was a nice sunny day”
With the exposition out of the way , i continued:
“Mrs. Rabbit was enjoying the nice weather, until she heard a disturbing noise. A banging and clinking. Which she did not enjoy AT ALL. She looked right and left, she looked straight ahead, and under the blueberry bush but could not find the source of the annoying noise. Finally , up above, she saw a large wooden tree house, with a large balcony. Mr pig was standing on the wooden planks and jumping up and down incessantly.
Each time the pig jumped, he crashed noisy into the flooring and made such a racket , stirring the birds in fright.
‘i say,’ cried Mrs. Rabbit ‘ oh, Mr. Pig. Would you mind stopping that? It is too noisy?’
‘no! I shall not!!’ snorted Mr. Pig, and jumped even harder .
Mrs. Rabbit went on. Unable to dissuade the selfish pig. Gleeful as he was to bring misery to her ears.
Not far away, she saw mother elephant. She was nursing her baby who was crying miserably.
’what’s wrong , Mrs. Elephant?”
‘oh.. it’s that, dreadful Mr. Pig. Can’t you hear it?, he’s been jumping , stomping like that all day and my baby can’t fall asleep?’
Mrs. Rabbit tried to console the poor baby elephant, but to no avail.
She continued on.
Near a large bush, she met her good friend, Mr. giraffe. Who did not seem at all happy . he bent his long neck down and Mrs. Rabbit could see that his eyes were blood shot red.
‘what’s wrong, Mr. Giraffe?’
’oh, it is just too bad. I have a cold and a headache. And that awful Mr. Pig can’t seem to stop stomping around.' he moaned deeply.
‘i see, ’ said Mrs. Rabbit. She knew that Mr. Giraffe was much taller and so his head was closer to Mr. Pig’s noise.
She decided to go find some berries to cheer Mr. Giraffe, when on the way she met Mr. Crocodile. Who was crying quietly and shedding many tears.
‘why are you crying, Mr. Crocodile?’ she asked.
‘oh, it’s that terrible Mr. Pig. His noise is so bad, that all the fish have swum away . i can’t find anything to eat and i am soooo hungry.’ cried Mr. Crocodile profusely.
Mr rabbit did not linger next to the hungry Mr. Crocodile, else he might get ideas.
Next on her way, she met the green dog.
The green dog was fashioning for himself a large drum; he cleared out a cardboard box, and attached a strap to it. after putting the strap over, he took two sticks he started energetically hitting the drum.
‘why are you doing this, kind Mr. Dog?’
‘oh, i have an idea what can we do about the cacophonous Mr. Pig’ he declared. ‘ hey, would you care to help me?’
‘why, certainly’ said Mrs. Rabbit, for she was always kind and helpful.
The green dog made a similar drum for Mrs rabbit, and taught her how to paradiddle; righ-left-right-right-left-right-left-left.
Soon, both were furiously drumming in time. They walked on, when Mr. Crocodile saw them, he pulled a large reed from the river, he then took the reed and ran it against the hard, jagged scales of his back making a “Grarrrrank” sort of sound. It was not very different from the croaking of the frog at nighttime, or the noisy chirp of crickets.
The band, moved next to the melancholy Mr. Giraffe, who was an expert singer.
Finally, they reached mother elephant who could blow her nose like three whole marching bands, trombones, tubas and all. The band of animals then made their way under the tree of the noisy Mr pig...."
It is here that i have come to a sort of fork in the road. I realized that there were some possible ways for the story to progress. I could have made the final scene of the story as a good lesson of the moral imperative for my young girl. Perhaps, i could have made it so, that the animals played so beautifully under the pig, that the music softened his callus heart.
Or
I could have made it so that the band of animals played so happily, and the pitiable pig was left out of all the fun, a good and valuable lesson in social distancing..
But no. I chose the path of REVENGE. (my head was throbbing, you must understand, and the neighbors were actually jumping around upstairs. Successfully driving me further towards the gaping, bottomless abyss of insanity.
“..the band of friends, began their work in earnest. Mrs. Rabbit and the green dog drummed fiercely on their boxes.
Crocodile ran the reed along his tail, stirring the frogs, crickets and cicadas, to join.
Mr. Giraffe sang loudly and though his throat was painful he managed to sing beautifully. ndeed, once his voice broke, and he could no longer sing well, the noise he made was even worse.
Mother elephant , and her baby, were not left out and their tooting was thunderous. A volcano would have felt shame in comparison.
The cacophony was great and pig could take it no longer. He screamed in pain ’stop, stop, for all that is good in this world! Let us have some peace and quiet!!! '
To that, the animals agreed, only after they played for a further ten minutes. The music was much fun for them. The pig vowed to never make noise like that again. And from then on, he was quiet and considerate.
I know this story, the narrative path that i took was not a very educational one. It teaches that the best way to deal with problems, is by revenge and aggressive acts. it is a lesson that i do notbwish to convey. After all, an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind EXCEPT for those that have more eyes. It is certainly not the goal that i should have considered. But i was feeling very upset and the wholesome message of the moral imperative was lost on me. Do onto others as you would wish other’s do onto you? (or the Jewish version, ‘love thy neighbor as you love thyself’) all that good stuff seemed rather a moot point as we were hearing the neighbors intentionally jumping on our ceiling. (i think the husband is unemployed, hence the copious amounts of free time..).
On the other hand, i could take solace in the fact that i did not take the story down a darker path;
i could have had the animals set the tree on fore, and the pig, unable to escape would have leapt into the flames, landing nicely roasted on the ground. The animals would have then proceeded to feast and revel all through the night.
I could even do one worse; the pig was trying to outdo the ruckus animals beneath him. He stomped and stomped on the wooden floorboards, until one of them broke. i would then have him fall straight through the hole , waving his arms desperately. What broke his fall eventually was a bear branch, its sides bereft of leaves. imagine, as the branch impaled him through the stomach. Looking down in horror, he would see his entrails and other innards slowly escape from the ruptured stomach, and being totally unable to hold them in, as his arms were suspended by another branch. The intestines finally reached a height, where the hungry Mr. Crocodile could grab onto and pull them down, winning all of Mr. Pigs internal organs.
What was left of the noisy Mr pig would be a stinking rotting reminder to all that consideration for others was not merely good manners.
There really are so many ways for this to go...
But where do i go from here? Will another opportunity present itself, for me to teach my girl the proper way for conflict resolution? To undo the damage I've done? Will she go down life, learning, that the best way to deal with people is by forming a gang, and to teach respect through disproportionate violence?
I do not know.