heroic efforts

i rise like lazarus

in the morning—

with the sun,

without the glory 

up from ashes 

and tangled bed sheets 

i weep 

for my resurrection 

and abandoned selfish ambitions

i need someone to celebrate me

i need someone to help

i know i'm not a hero for saving myself

but goddamnit, 

i want the recognition

to those who think i am daedalus,

who think i built my labyrinth

with my own two hands:

do you think i can 

at least make it out alive?

i am trying so hard to shine light, 

but i'm afraid i'm at the end of my wick

i want a plot by the sun

to remind everyone 

even those that burn the brightest settle into their graves,

that every man wants an end—

some of us just want ours sooner

whether it's this life or the after,

we all commit

some of us just don't want to admit it

i beg god 

to change the plans he has for me,

erase all that he's written

but i am just a wolf

howling at a moon that doesn't listen