Unconditional Charity

So... what is love? That is a pretty deep question with a surprisingly simple answer.

I used to think hate was the opposite of love, but after a lot of thought, years of experience growing a large family of happy, healthy humans, and spreading love to those in my life I care about, I have come to a different conclusion.

The opposite of love isn't hate... it is selfishness.

At its core, love is simply caring for someone else's happiness more than we do for our own. It is very important that we like, appreciate, and value ourselves, but pure love is pure selflessness.

It is sad that there are so many for whom external expressions of love—saying "I love you," giving gifts, performing publicly recognized sacrifices—are selfish acts that are usually driven by fear of loss or pain. These people often use love to secure their own happiness, security, or gratification.

That isn't love; it is a blend of desire and need.

Love is hugging someone who is sad.

Love is helping a neighbor who has fallen down get back on their feet.

Love is a guiding hand that helps a child learn to navigate life.

Love is sharing a meal with a hungry stranger, though you will be left hungry.

Love is expressing admiration when feeling ambivalence, because it benefits another.

Love is volunteering time and energy when tragedy strikes.

Love is an anonymous gift that brings joy.

Love is magic.

I learned long ago that love is the one thing that grows when given away. For every ounce of love you give, you get two back in return. Love comes from a self-sustaining reservoir that cannot be run dry, if it is given away in purity. Selflessness is at the root of true love lie.

The Beatles had a hit song in the 1960's that claimed "in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." This isn't correct though. In the end, the love you take exceeds the love you've given away, many fold.

There is only one drawback to love. Sooner or later, deep love becomes deep loss. If we turn the coin of love over, we find grief on the flip side. Caring for anyone or anything carries the seed of eventual pain. As humans, we are transitory creatures who exist in the here and now for a very limited amount of time. Luckily, the power of love transcends that brief span, existing even after we are gone.

When all is said and done, love is the only thing that truly matters.

if love be but a dream, let me never wake

when my heart overflows, let me give freely of it

at the end of my journey, let me be remembered for love

may the love I've given, exceed the pain I've caused

thus will be measured my soul

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