Why did I even write this?

I am confused. I am angry, I am sad, I am happy, I am scared, I am crying. I don’t know why. I am thinking about something, someone, somewhere, somehow. I don’t know why. I am thinking nothing. I don’t know why. I am surrounded by so many people but I don’t know why I always feel like I am alone. I have people but I always feel some sort of loneliness. I don’t know why. The days creep me out because I don’t know what is coming but the night makes me feel better because it is calm and cool. In the night you can hide from reality but in the day you have to face it and go through it. When I look out the window, I dream and dream of what I would be in the future but I know that if it will ever be true. I wish someday I can be more optimistic and fun and kind. I wish I had friends. My loneliness haunts me. Help me.

Maybe “forever” was a word meant for memories, not people.

Let me tell you a little more about myself. I am a mess. I have average grades sometimes horrible. Art had been a huge part of my life but nowadays I hate art. It seems so boring. Everything does. I try to be happy but when I do I feel like tearing myself apart. I am a psycho. I really am. I know I have friends but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the stuff that goes on inside my head. I am crying again because of loneliness. Honestly, I feel like I am in depression. It is like my brain is getting molded. I am suffering but I know there will be one day when I will be happy for who I am, what I am, and why I am the way I am. That time will come very soon. I want to die. I want to live. I want to fly. I want to paint my own picture.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your Imagination is out of focus.