I am confused. I am angry, I am sad, I am happy, I am scared, I am crying. I don’t know why. I am thinking about something, someone, somewhere, somehow. I don’t know why. I am thinking nothing. I don’t know why. I am surrounded by so many people but I don’t know why I always feel like I am alone. I have people but I always feel some sort of loneliness. I don’t know why. The days creep me out because I don’t know what is coming but the night makes me feel better because it is calm and cool. In the night you can hide from reality but in the day you have to face it and go through it. When I look out the window, I dream and dream of what I would be in the future but I know that if it will ever be true. I wish someday I can be more optimistic and fun and kind. I wish I had friends. My loneliness haunts me. Help me.

Maybe “forever” was a word meant for memories, not people.

Let me tell you a little more about myself. I am a mess. I have average grades sometimes horrible. Art had been a huge part of my life but nowadays I hate art. It seems so boring. Everything does. I try to be happy but when I do I feel like tearing myself apart. I am a psycho. I really am. I know I have friends but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the stuff that goes on inside my head. I am crying again because of loneliness. Honestly, I feel like I am in depression. It is like my brain is getting molded. I am suffering but I know there will be one day when I will be happy for who I am, what I am, and why I am the way I am. That time will come very soon. I want to die. I want to live. I want to fly. I want to paint my own picture.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your Imagination is out of focus.

“Okay! I think we should leave.” I said. “Get ur stuff ”Dad replied. We walked towards the car and got inside. It was 8 in the morning. I was all in business attire for the Model United Nations conference. This is the only club I find joy in and that is educational. So sorry I did not introduce myself. I am Maiytreye. I am 13 years old and live in Richmond VA. This is getting awkward so let's go back. After he dropped me off I saw a lot of old desi people in front of the highschool exercising. I waved goodbye and started walking towards the door.

After getting in I could not see anyone from my school so I walked towards the stairs like Gauri had said. Gauri is the person who started the club at our school, a 7th grader. I met people as i saw them come through the back doors of the school. I greeted them as they came in. I was feeling nervous as always but I put a smile on my face to hide it. I was looking for ruqquah and then when I saw her come in it was such a relief. Ruqquah is my best friend. Well, she was. So as people started to gather around the cafeteria Ruqquah was stressing over what to say. It was her first conference and she did not have a speech. I was sad and trying to act mature. Then I noticed a strange guy staring at me. And when we met each other’s gaze he would start looking else where. Suddenly a girl came up to our table. Her name was Asiya she was Ruqquah's family friend. She had known that guy. We chated a bit about the position papers and stuff. ”He looks fine” I whispered to Ruqquah. “Who does” Ruqquah asked. I slightly pointed at him. Ruqquah was awkward out. “Bro! You are here for a conference not to stare at boys okay! And he does not look good he has a such a long nose ” Ruqquah whispered back. “Look, I was not staring he started it ok” i said. He then came up to our table he started to talk to asiya. He looked at me twice. I looked at my phone while he did. In fact I was very loud. After the committee sessions past by we were at the closing ceremony. We were the first ones there. So we got into our seats. When I saw him come in He was sitting behind on the other side so he could keep an eye on me. Then Gauri made us move seats. After doing so I saw him come to the seat in front on the other side. So I begged ruqqah to let me side on her seat so i could see him more clearly. I did not like him. It was just i wanted to prove that he was staring first. I looked behind and told Ruqquah that look at him if he stares at me. After the ceremony ended we all got out of the seats. Some one slightly pushed near him but not exactly. Apparently he was not paying attention. I wanted him to but oh well. Then when I got back I got ready and went to bed. Then I looked out the window at the moon. It was quite. Everyone was asleep. I was asleep thinking of how I felt like he was someone to me when in real life he was a complete stranger.

“Okay! I think we should leave.” I said. “Get ur stuff ”Dad replied. We walked towards the car and got inside. It was 8 in the morning. I was all in business attire for the Model United Nations conference. This is the only club I find joy in and that is educational. So sorry I did not introduce myself. I am Maiytreye. I am 13 years old and live in Richmond VA. This is getting awkward so let's go back. After he dropped me off I saw a lot of old desi people in front of the highschool exercising. I waved goodbye and started walking towards the door.

After getting in I could not see anyone from my school so I walked towards the stairs like Gauri had said. Gauri is the person who started the club at our school, a 7th grader. I met people as i saw them come through the back doors of the school. I greeted them as they came in. I was feeling nervous as always but I put a smile on my face to hide it. I was looking for ruqquah and then when I saw her come in it was such a relief. Ruqquah is my best friend. Well, she was. So as people started to gather around the cafeteria Ruqquah was stressing over what to say. It was her first conference and she did not have a speech. I was sad and trying to act mature. Then I noticed a strange guy staring at me. And when we met each other’s gaze he would start looking else where. Suddenly a girl came up to our table. Her name was Asiya she was Ruqquah's family friend. She had known that guy. We chated a bit about the position papers and stuff. ”He looks fine” I whispered to Ruqquah. “Who does” Ruqquah asked. I slightly pointed at him. Ruqquah was awkward out. “Bro! You are here for a conference not to stare at boys okay! And he does not look good he has a such a long nose ” Ruqquah whispered back. “Look, I was not staring he started it ok” i said. He then came up to our table he started to talk to asiya. He looked at me twice. I looked at my phone while he did. In fact I was very loud. After the committee sessions past by we were at the closing ceremony. We were the first ones there. So we got into our seats. When I saw him come in He was sitting behind on the other side so he could keep an eye on me. Then Gauri made us move seats. After doing so I saw him come to the seat in front on the other side. So I begged ruqqah to let me side on her seat so i could see him more clearly. I did not like him. It was just i wanted to prove that he was staring first. I looked behind and told Ruqquah that look at him if he stares at me. After the ceremony ended we all got out of the seats. Some one slightly pushed near him but not exactly. Apparently he was not paying attention. I wanted him to but oh well. Then when I got back I got ready and went to bed. Then I looked out the window at the moon. It was quite. Everyone was asleep. I was asleep thinking of how I felt like he was someone to me when in real life he was a complete stranger.