I used to fill every moment of every hour with something, doing everything, anything in a desperate attempt to appease my anxious mind, thoughts and moments were constantly filled with podcasts and audiobooks or trying to learn a new language or skill. I would mindlessly and endlessly consume and move and do whatever I could to justify my existence as if I wasn't ever enough. My mind never really had a moment to itself; I was constantly miserable and burnt out. I hated being alone with my thoughts because what would they say, how would they berate me. How would I compare; the shame and inadequacy I always felt linger in my bones forced me to keep moving even though I was exhausted, still am, but I'm recovering, slowly and almost tediously.

Boredom, as I've come to realize, is a remedy for the malady of the heart and mind. It's an opportunity for exploration, creativity, and practicing self-compassion. Our minds require moments of boredom, a break from reality and the everyday noise to process the millions if not billions of bits of information we're constantly taking in. It's the quiet moments of silence and nothingness that our brains are busy doing their miraculous things. It's okay to be bored, it's not a punishment nor is it suffering but a small reprieve to allow yourself to breathe, relax and enjoy the calm that comes with it.