it's okay to feel, let it flow through you, let it run down your face and drop into the earth. feel as often as possible, freely and openly but never hold onto them for too long. feel them long enough to let them go, always let them go because there is an abundance inside you, forever creating and destroying in an endless cycle of life. what a joy to be alive.
waiting...
what does it mean to be alive, to feel the earth beneath your feet, the warmth of the sun as it sinks beneath your skin, the air that we breathe, filling our lungs; the chapters that we write in the drumbeat of our hearts and the dog-ears that we fold into the pages of ours lives, waiting, always contemplating for the what ifs, maybes and somedays, only to spend a lifetime in mastering the art of patience with nothing to show but the hopes of one day starting a life because fulfillment awaits no one.
To think of you is to embrace you in your entirety and tell you, "I love you so much, you are my heart, my soul, and it is because of you that life is both beautiful and cruel." It is your smell I miss the most, such comforting familiarity that breaks my heart as time erodes you from my memory; how much we rely on smell to recall memories and the spaces they filled in our lives, molecules, now forever gone.
We have the capacity to love in multitudes, we love objects and places and people but that usually happens after a certain length of time, of knowing and getting to know a thing, a place or a person because everything before it, is a projection, we have yet to know and understand and grasp the complexity or simplicity. We cannot love something we do not know. We cannot love someone at first sight because what we love is an idea of who we think they are, a sweet infatuation, dreaming up endless possibilities of all the things and wishes and hopes we want them to be. Love exists in corners and smells and lingering touches, it exists, waiting, growing and expanding as we become acquainted and situated.