Untitled

The sadness over powers you into this state of mind where nothing makes sense. It's a place where nothing seems real, not even being in your own state of mind makes sense. The people around you seem fake because they are so happy and you wonder how it's like to be like that. But you try. You try and smile when you feel down and you try and laugh but it's all fake. You don't feel that happiness and joy that you see in other people. You don't feel like everything goes your way or when you're finally happy it stays, because it doesn't. You think maybe you are finally happy in the aspect that you're in right now but that goes away and reality comes back into you. It hits you like a truck hits a wall. It's a huge impact that you keep with your self day by day. The smell of the flowers are dull and the sky's are always grey. Your head is full of thought and emotion and the world is against you. Everything you say/do is wrong. Everyone you meet eventually leaves because you're not good enough. You try and be strong but thats the hardest part. You push everyone away that has come and tried to help you because they can't feel what you do, but you can't even explain what's wrong. It's not even a sadness, or emotion because at this point its your lifestyle. You're use to the disappointment and being hurt that you're just numb. You take everyday and hope it's your last instead of living like it is. You'd rather be alone because that's when you can cry or be yourself because that's where no one will judge you. You hate yourself everyday because you don't fit in. No one really likes you, you keep telling yourself that they put up with you because once we all grow up they're going to forget about you anyways. Being alone is where you feel most comfortable. With no one around. Your thoughts fill your head and you make the wrong seem right. Our thoughts are our own worst enemy but it makes everything come out to seem so true.