It hurts to watch someone fall out of love with you. It aches through your entire being, like ripples of electric current. It creates a whirlpool in your thoughts where your memories, dreams, and all of the possibilities slowly circle and drown... where your sense of self is pulled under the surface and you feel like you have lost a piece of yourself. You ask, "why", and "what about me". Yes, it hurts to watch someone fall out of love with you.

But beyond the pain of watching someone fall out of love with you... is watching yourself fall out of love with someone who hurts you.

You both have control, and are being carried against your will and want.

You have that electrifying ache, and a numbing emptiness.

You are present and wishful, and you are already a ghost.

You are both your light and your shadow.

You are within yourself, and you are out-of-body.

It is a different type of all-consuming, all-ending hurt to give chance after chance, hear promise after promise, and beg over again, "please, just love me and love me well" only to realize that everything you gave of yourself was in vain. To watch yourself raise your emotional white flag and realize that you're gone, in spite of all you've done to stay. You still ask, "why" and even "why not"; you still ask "what about me", but it's inward-facing as you beg the universe to allow you to heal past this and recover the ability to love once more or give yourself again.

No, there is just no pain like falling out of love when you love someone still.