the other end of the rope

"Grayson?"

"Hi, Lily. What's up?" He slid from underneath the car he was working on, partially streaked with grime. We had one of our usual talks-- I sat perched on the steps and he worked, his arms lifted to screw around doing who knows what under there.

I was done burying everything away and telling me self it was probably fine, and so I ripped right into the thick of things and explained what was on my mind, swinging one cloth-shoed foot around in circles. He kept his gaze on the bottom of the car. After a few minutes I finished. I'm one of those people who work through things by talking about them, and I felt so relieved to have told him. Now I just wanted his opinion.

"You know, Lil," he said, "This group--I think there are other people that are more your type. Mia and those girls-- they are a lot less interested in doing things that are worthwhile and developing real friendships and opinions, and a lot more keen to just blow the time away partying. And then--" he grunted as he twisted something underneath the car--"if someone doesn't work out like she wants, she just drops whoever it is and moves on to the next. I don't know if you are going to like that, but there it is."

I thanked Gray absently and walked through the neighborhood home. With his shared understanding into how fickle or trivial Mia's friendship might really be, I had been enlightened into my own character. It had been bothering me subtly for weeks-- I didn't want what they wanted, what they had to offer.

Gray was right. I was standing on the complete other end of the rope, but until I had understood her I hadn't even realized!