To Abandon is To Loose Faith, And Faith is as Slippery as Can Be

Lucien paced in front of the podium, stained glass soaring above him, the light falling on him in a way that made him seem purer then he felt, then he had the right to be. “Dear God, dear lord, dear vauge mascular man with a beard or a sword,” he snarled, his voice angry. “Dear good, all seeing being,” He paused in front of the all loving, faggot hater. “What’d I do? I shouldn’t be making this about me but since you’ve seen fit to take him from me, I suppose it kind of is.”

Lucien pulled his fingers through his hair and grit his teeth at the unresponsive window pane.

He wanted something to happen, something to the effect of what he was feeling. Maybe have a volcano explode or the walls to crumble. Something to signify the way he felt staring at an empty builing waiting for divininty to rain down and grace him with answers.

“I prayed daily and I sent you offerings and I took weird ass occurrences as a sign you were there but now?” Lucien’s voice broke. “Now I don’t know if I don’t believe so much as know you can’t be all good. Because you can’t be all good and all powerful and if you are all powerful you’re a sadistic fuck and I want nothing to do with you.”

Silence resounded through the cathedral. Lucien stared at the pews with unseeing eyes. All he saw was empty seats, empty rooms, empty promises. The lies they were taught as truth, that happiness was around a corner if you had a little faith, that bad days were just a test. “I’m not leaving you in a moment of rashness. I’m calm and I’m abandoning you as you turned your back on me.” With trembling fingers Lucien pull the necklace with the cross off. He dropped it and walked away. The atheist didn’t look back.