One Last Desperate, Final Cry
I was oddly mute for nearly all my life;
Never able to explain the sights,
The sounds nor the feelings
That taunted me from inside my mind.
A wild valley of delusions
All wrapped up so colorful and fun,
Yet a whirlwind of chaos and despair when unfolded.
But I have found that mighty sword -
The one that rips apart my virgin, sewn shut lips.
And, oh!
The sweet, giving breath of a magnificent day!
The generous welcoming of a Summer’s midday!
So, hear me now!
I call to thee!
To anyone who dares to escape the safe and known!
My words –
They are of my childhood lost;
Those ugly painted pictures I keep hidden away to myself.
A course of neglect –
With vivid, despicable tongue lashes
That have forever warped my mind.
And no one heard my calls for help then,
So why would they listen now?
Never knowing where I belonged
Or where I was to be.
I drifted –
And yet I fell upon a dream I never dared to touch!
Oh, how a symphony of happiness and joy filled me!
With the birth of my 4 boys,
I felt God had touched me.
That I had finally been seen.
Cured of that sullen depression
That has followed me as a shadow since the age of 6.
But –
Hear I tell you,
If you care to listen,
Is how that Darkness came back with a vengeance!
Swallowing me up in all its envious, filthy gluttony.
In the golden prime of my life,
That monstrous, crooked hand slapped me across the face;
As if to remind me that I am not worthy.
Not deserving of good.
And the blackened cloud overwhelmed me,
And slid into my mind to play.
Slowly destroying me,
Eating me alive as I watched it all from a distance.
Yet the biggest blow of all was to come –
They had stolen my babies from me!
Lies to sign,
But it was to make me disappear.
Everyone turned their backs on me,
Out of fear for what is still unknown.
I was left barren and naked,
Utterly alone in the frigid cold of the Earth.
And no one heard my cries.
My desperate pleas.
I was labeled –
Then began the outrageous modern day witch hunt!
Oh, how my name was scorned!
How they clothed me in bogus lies
Trying to create a monster!
Creating something so crazed and unpredictable
from nothing more than stereotypes
and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I am a victim of injustice –
Of unnecessary cruelty for so many years!
And still no one cares to hear of my saddened tale;
Of the innocent, joyful lives of 4 little boys
So greedily destroyed
Because of an uneducated and broken society.
I have unwillingly passed on the generational curse –
The one I tried so hard to smother.
When I look at my boys,
Who are young men now,
And I see all the suffering and confusion
That rests on their faces –
It sickens me to have to say,
I “told you so”.
And the one little thing I always kept hidden to myself –
The one thing I thought that no one could steal –
That Hope that lived inside of me,
My lighthouse,
That was my motivation to survive each day –
Well, they’ve come now;
And oh, how they striked at me
And stole away that sweet, mother’s dream!
Dissolved.
Ignorantly smacked from my hands as if I were the Devil himself.
Left in the place of that dream,
Is the sour tsunami of a shattered womb attacked –
A dysfunctional, neurotic mess
From what society has done to us.
The world has failed us greatly.