Realization forces you to “Grow up.”
Realization is the worst way to have to "grow up"
I was in elementary school when I found out that people can stab you in the back.
I was middle school when I found out that friends can tear you down in an instant, with no regret.
I was middle school when I found out that it is hard to build yourself back up after someone close to you has torn your down.
I was a in high school when I realized that you can fall for the same awful trap twice.
I was in high school when I realized that maybe "Blood is thicker than water" isn't always the saying to live by.
I was in high school when I realized that people can be gone in an instant, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I was in high school when I realized that the religion I was in lied to me about a lot.
I was in high school when I realized that I wasn't straight.
I was in high school when I realized that sometimes family doesn't always mean no one gets left behind or forgotten.
I was in high school when I realized that you have to fight tooth and nail for everything.
I was in high school when I realized that my letter grade meant more to some people then I did.
With every realization, I had to grow up. I had to shed my metaphorical skin.
Now I display that skin in an effort to show others why they should be kind, why they shouldn't destroy other people, why they should notice others.
I show it to tell people that I care, that I will hear them, because I know what it is like to to be heard, not to be cared for. I know what it is like to feel like you are not even on the sidelines anymore, but instead on a completely different planet.
But I also hide it. I don't want everyone to see what I have been though, I don't want people to judge me and tell me that I have "Daddy issues" I don't want people to tell me that I am overreacting, or being to sensitive.
So I share online and though stories,
that way I can share with people, and they won't attach the things I say to my name, but a pin name. I wont have to go up to someone and say "This is who I am and this is what I have been though!" and watch them judge.