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random topics in the year 3000: passover edition!
dear theprosedotcomniks, another edition of the randii are here an it is needless to tell you of the long term damage participating in this heinous crime shall do to your mental health, or your standing within society, yet, if you feel that you must participate in such an atrocity then choose one, two, several, all, or none of the following topics , and write whatever you want in whichever form and post whenever you want (though the expiration date is real, feel free to post later if you want cause nothing really matters. nothing. we stare at the vastness of infinity and know only of the certainty of death and suffering, and tje all too fleeting moments of joy...). well, good, luck. and the topics are: 1) how to grovel to impersonators, who are decidedly superior. 2) forbidden games in the time of ancient egypt. 3) the absence of pyramids in modern architecture. 4) schadenfreude , schnitzels, and shish kebobs, and how to utilize them in your brinkmanship. 5) the contents of the pockets of Aaron,son of Amram. 6) gentiles who try to find the afikomen, and what they can't win. 7) in the desert, you can remember your name, cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. 8) the glaring lack of muse in Wuhan. 9) book sniffing in the age of uncertainty. 10) the strawberries ain't gonna last, bucko. 13) write a letter to Mel Brooks, urging him to direct a sequal to spaceballs. 14) the eleventh and twelfth topic, and what befell those who wrote about them. 15) changing batteries on the listening device. 16) one unbugged room in Moscow later... 17) first we take Manhattan (Nevada), then we take Berlin (Wisconsin). 18) pajorative connotation to cotton candy. 23) the last will and testament of the drowned Pharaoh Ramses. +-+-+-+-+-+++;(;(;+-+-++++(++(+-+-+- in space no one wants to hear you scream. +-+-+-+-+-+-++(+(;(!(!(+(++-+-+-+-+-- i would like to take this opportunity and address the efforts of @estherflowers1 who recently published a series of topics similar to these. similar, perhaps but far better, both in variety, meaning , ending even with a fantastic quote at the end from the musical cannibals! (which was unknown under the rock over here). this challenge comes in a way, to apologize deeply and to provide a stage to throughly grovel, at said author's acheivments. i, and my challenge, are but an unengorged snood in comparison to such exalted magnitudenous excellence.

understanding the youth

Recall, my friend Avshalom, son of David. his hair flowing, a royal mane of impressive sight. oh, and how the dames and damsels of court had watched him, manly throwing it around in all directions. oh, what conquests he must have had, with brilliance of nightly tactics, much to do perhaps to that impressive growth. recall though with sadness, that impressive hair was that youth's downfall, as he got unmanned by it, hanging helplessly from a branch, like a ripe fruit for his enemies, the King's own to treat him in their cruel leisure.

for a time, i strived to develop an Afro upon my head. a Jewfro to be exact, as i my scales and upper mucus is pale in color, and my topmost folicals are a shit-like brown, all growing above the folds of skin and fat. the growth, lovingly un-tended for, neglected with the hope that liberty and self government would bring forth a greater prosperity, fell away long ago. the folicals, perhaps not holding well in their afflicted moorings. and so, like Avshalom, i learned the long term effect of childhood folly.

as for pants, to say that i had a similar liberality as with the hair would be a gross lie.

i wore no jeans! despite suggestions to the contrary, and sheathed my lower parts with cargo pants and dungarees. soft and supple and much more copious in volume respectively of size, they covered me in all times, with a range of colors of gray, blue, drown and drab green. but never black!

it is because of this, my hair decisions and pantaloonage that i claim to have an understanding and to speak with authority into the minds of youths today. for our minds are the same!

the so-called generation Z is an open book to me. nothing in the vast changes of recent years in culture, technology or politics have anything in the way of obscurity or ambiguity to myself. It is quite clear to me that kids want to set up buisness, trade with the natives, and explore the uncharted continents. they desire a good bowl of soup and an evening by the television followed by an early night. as for sexuality, kids of generation z cant get enough of sexuality. They are eager to see what lies under a lady’s petticoat, as it has always been.

As for the usage of social media, it is self evident really, that this will lead to nothing but good, and prosperity will once more bless our lands.

The only thing that i feel that i can’t understand generation z goes back to my fervid acquaintance with cargo pants. I see most youngling wearing cargo pants as is proper and rightful in a well goiverned state. Cargo pants are a perfect merger of the need to contain one’s self with an equal urgancy to contain posessions without having further carry on baggage, such as rucksaks and shopping bags. It it obvious that an educated person would eschew the wearing of jeans as that they permit no such immidiate baggae, where tragedy befell such a person, he would be hard pressed to find room for his many personal posessions within the narrow, pockets of his pantaloons. Only the articulated , numerous pocekts of cargo pants allow for such quick and ready use. Any choice other than that, is an unworthy compromise with whimsical fashion!

However, recently there has been a puzzing trend, which i am here struggling to bring forth, and which i hope some light can be shed upon in the comments below. That question is about those strips of cloth , or braids of cordage that are intetionally made to hang from the edge of the flap that covers those wonderfully voluminous pockets.

Ostensibly these strips, i gather, are attached, so that there will be an easy opening of the pocket while in the wearer is in rapid action, or while wearing thick gloves, perhaps during a session of welding. The functionality of these strips disappears though when there are many of them and they festoon the cargo pants with a multitude of such straps and ribbons. indeed, one begins to doubt the necessity of their usage in quickening the retrieval of cached objects.

Why is there are such need in the youths to acquire cargo pants with ribbons attached, is something of unchartered waters. Here i hazard some theories, though there is no way for me to substantiate my assumptions with fact.

1)One possible reason for the appearnace of these ribbons is meant to give the wearer a combattive, adventurous facade: as cargo pants are nominaly part of the work attire of those of the armed forces of many nations, it is possible that the wearing of cargo pants is meant to lend the wearer some penache. The wearer, of course, disregards the fact that that they may not be warriors in all actuality, and also the fact that cargo pants are the preferred attire of many of those in the manual trades, such as bricklayers, farm hands, mechanics and pipe fitters, all of which are professionals of great necessity but not advertised as enjoying a thrilling high-paxed life.

furthermore , under this hinted prowess, the ribbons lend even more credence to this hypothesis, as that it hints at a special piece of equipment which must be retrieved effortlessly and with great haste. Obviously a person with a multitude of these straps , ribbons and cords, is advertised in being well versed in the usage of all kinds of such tactical embellishments and accouterments. They are rugged , rough and fiercless, not to mention, well equipped.

2)Seeing the hint of the militaristic nature of cargo pants, the wearer elects to exxagereate this ruggedness with an excess of detail, as a way to scorn or mock the warrior persona. it is, by this satirical dress, that they wish to demonstrate their good humor, without a word needed to be spoken.

3)It could be a deliberate attempt by leading fashion designers to pave the way for reintroducing the fashion of men, worn primarily during the baroque, and rococo periods (17-18th century), particularly in france. truly , the dressing of the time was rich with such decorations as ribbons and bows, flowing from every item of garment, and especially set upon the short cullote briches. if this is correct, fashion will soon demand such Not to mention capes waistcoats, wigs and rapiers

4) introduction of drooping straps and rippons pays a sincere homage to certain birds, who like so display their manhood with such embellishments. these snood-like appendages are designed to cause a Dionysian reaction in those who observe them, hopefully causing them to prepare for copulation. such aphrodisiac may, in fact cause the desired response, if they are sufficiently drooped and engorged.

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