I am allergic to fish

When my sister brought her new boyfriend home for Christmas, all of the attention was on them

We hashed out small talk and interrogations in the same conversation

There wasn't any room for questioning me

By Easter, they were old news, just another round in the holiday gamut

and I was left lonesome

with questions and pity and problems and people

telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea

and I try not to be superficial

with the emphasis on fish

but if we pretend that there are 7.9 billion fish in the sea

only 4.2% of them live in the same sea that I am in

331 million accessible fish

sure.

plenty of fish.

I'm a picky eater though- let's call it allergies.

Half of those fish really aren't for me.

115 million fish. plenty of fish.

But hey- turnabout is fair play. At least 7% of those fish think that I'm not for them either.

107 million fish left. plenty of fish.

but some of those fish are much too young to eat.

and some of those fish are just a bit too old.

I'd make a conservative estimate that 20% of fish are the right age.

21 million fish. plenty of fish.

but the sea is pretty big.. I'm really only going to be able to find fish in the same reef as me. maybe the neighboring reef? that's 4%.

840,000 fish. plenty of fish.

Half of those fish have already been caught. Tangled into some other fisherman's web.

320,000 fish. plenty of fish.

Half of those fish are in hiding. No one is ever going to catch them.

160,000 fish. plenty of fish.

But sometimes fishing is a competition.

and all that fighting over fish? well it gives some of the fish baggage and it scares another chunk away.

80,000 fish. plenty of fish.

and 4% of those fish are just a little too small to catch.

76,000 fish. give or take. plenty of fish.

Some fish are poisonous.

68,000 fish.

Some fish think that I'm poisonous.

60,000 fish.

and I've learned that some fish have opinions.

that don't really get along with the school of fish that I subscribe to.

30,000 fish.

and some fish. some fish really are just friends.

15,000 fish.

and some fish. well they think that I'm just a friend.

7,500 fish.

Some fish you really really think that you like. But someone ends up getting thrown back. Sometimes you know a fish a little too well. Sometimes your friend knows a fish. Sometimes the fish is already part of your family.

4,000 fish?

I'm starting to think that there might not be plenty of fish.