Cognitive Immobility

There was the dark of the cool desert night,

moonlight peeling off layers of night, making lava rocks shine an iridescent black.

Owls hoot in the distance, as my fingers slap keys.

My fingers hardly light.

At first, there was the fear, the fear of rejection.

Nobody was praying for me, no one genuine.

The only ones around were the ones preying on me.

Disgusting leeches, trying to drag me down.

Their hands clamoring for my living body, if money could be earned if I was dead, I'm sure they would have.

And there she was.

Like heaven kissed morning breath on the sandy hill peeks I would stare at from my window.

I couldn't see her face, but the person beyond the screen was the thing that took me away.

The day of the week, the nickname that started it all.

Thursday.

My new favorite day, the day before Friday, when my mood would settle in and I'd let loose the demons that churned within.

Long forgotten, hatred still brewing.

My mind was evanescent like I wasn't living there, like I was in the memory of a life soon to pass, but the moments with her were all I had.

Every time I'd bite my tongue, hoping to put teeth on through,

there'd be the memory of peace when we would talk.

Not really 'talk' but more write, write of people and days we weren't living,

watching worlds rise and fall. Watching emotions explored that I hadn't felt, things I couldn't understand.

I would choke on the words, the words I couldn't feel.

Yet, it wasn't so bad. Not when I knew we were both there together, the Gods of our world. The creators. And the things I wanted to say, I swallowed like the bile that churned in my stomach as my brain switched on the new contact. The relay flicking in direction like the plunge of the keys, each tap of the switch, another synapse firing away.

God, she took me away.

She took me away.