Tired Trope Amalgam

Our character is awakened by an alarm clock. She gets ready to go to a job where she is under appreciated, if not invisible. On her way out of the house, the person she lives with has prepared a breakfast buffet of which she takes one bite of one strawberry and rushes out, quipping something about “running late”.

We learn that our character is an avid runner. Not for the health aspect, but because she is running from her memories of some distant sad thing (cut scene to a terminally ill mystery person and/or a funeral in the rain—there is always rain).

She’ll go shopping at some point. The obligatory phallic form of naked French bread protrudes from the top of her grocery bag along with some random greens because no shopping trip is complete without them, apparently.

She will be kidnapped by men in suits and sunglasses. They render her unconscious, usually by an injection of some chemical sort. They toss her into a black SUV (bad guys purchase them by the fleet, you know).

She will come to in a mysterious location where it is explained to her that she is “the one” they need for a super-sensitive mission (save the world!). She is then able to hack into a sophisticated, multi-layer government mainframe with not problem whatsoever.

It then comes to everyone’s attention that “someone” is needed to break into an ultra-secure facility to access some key technical device. The team then squints at our character and they nod.

She just happens to be the final boss’ type, so a quick makeover is performed. She sheds her nerdy persona and is suddenly a knockout, ready to seduce her way into said facility.

Eventually, we find our heroine running in high heels and carjacking a European sports car, which she is able to drive like a demon. Cue the screaming pedestrians and hapless fruit stands.

She’ll crash, be uninjured. There's something counting down with red numbers (extra points for beeping). She finishes the mission. Is offered a job (clandestine, of course) with this alphabet agency (gotta leave that door for possible sequels open) and goes about her “ordinary” life.

The End.

Yawn.

Okay, yes I know… A lot of these are found in film, but when I see them applied in print, it makes me want to throw the book across the room.